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After you have planned your answer, write it up into paragraphs. You should use short quotations which you have remembered from the book to support your ideas. You will also be given marks for paraphrasing parts of the book and referring to specific events, as this shows your knowledge of the text. It is also important that you discuss how the context has impacted on the book throughout your essay, as this is an important part of the mark scheme.

Example question - foundation tier

Choose a character who you think is a victim of loneliness because of the society in which he or she lives. Write about this character, explaining the reasons for your choice.

Sample answer – foundation tier (point two):

Curley’s wife is a lonely character because the men do not like her. She is the only woman on the ranch so she doesn’t have anyone to talk to and so she tries to talk to the men who work on the ranch. She is talked about negatively by the men on the ranch before she is directly involved in the book and then when she appears, there is a description of her wearing red to suggest danger and she is not dressed appropriately for the ranch. She tries to flirt with the men but they don’t like her and aren’t nice to her.

Feedback

• This is too descriptive. You are being asked to analyse the book in the context of the essay question, not describe what happens so make sure that you don’t just tell the story in your answer, as has been done here.
• There is no quotation used here to support the point. When possible, use short quotations from the text as evidence to support your ideas.
• You must link your ideas about the book to the context in which it was written.
• This response is not answering the question all the way through. It is important to link all of your ideas to the task you have been given.

Sample answer – foundation tier (point two) – improved:

Curley’s wife is shown to be an outsider on the ranch because of her gender, which makes the men respect her less and not treat her as an equal. This is clear in the way that she is never referred to by her own name (which the reader does not find out) but only in relation to Curley, so she seems like she is not important as a person in her own right, just as the wife to the boss’s son. When she first appears in the book, George calls her a tramp and Candy has already told George and Lennie that she is a tart. This means that the men on the ranch have no respect for her and so she is very lonely because none of the characters see her as being worth their time.

Feedback

• This is a secure foundation tier response.
• There is a clear focus on the question.
• Awareness is shown of the context of the book.
• There is sound evidence of knowledge of the text.
• Short quotations are used appropriately to support the point.

Example question - higher tier

Steinbeck presents loneliness as an inescapable part of the characters’ lives in Of Mice and Men.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Sample answer – higher tier (point two):

George and Lennie’s friendship draws attention to how much of a problem loneliness is for the other characters because it is described as being so unusual. They talk about their friendship, saying Guys like us, that work on ranches, are the loneliest guys in the world. This shows how important their friendship is to them because other people like them don’t have one. We can see that they care for each other and both need each other to carry on. Even though George finds it difficult to look after Lennie at times, he still wants to have him around and enjoys his friendship.

Feedback

• This is lacking detail. There needs to be increased discussion of how George and Lennie’s friendship shows that loneliness is inescapable.
• While a quotation is used, showing knowledge of the text, this needs to be analysed specifically. The comment on the quotation is too brief and general.
• There needs to be more references made to the context of the text.
• Focus on the question is lost in the second part of this paragraph. You must ensure that you are concentrated on the task throughout your response.

Sample answer – higher tier (point two) – improved:

Steinbeck emphasises the loneliness of the lifestyle led by itinerant workers through the uniqueness of George and Lennie’s friendship. Early on in the novel, they state that men like them are the loneliest guys in the world. This extreme language and use of the superlative loneliest demonstrates that there is little hope for such men to escape their isolation. The nature of ranch workers’ insecure employment made it impossible for men like George and Lennie to make lasting connections. George and Lennie contrast the universal experience of their peers – They got no family. They don’t belong no place. – with their own – With us it ain’t like that. We got a future. This use of the contrasting personal pronouns they and we draws attention to how different they are and separates George and Lennie from all those around them. However, the tragic end of the novel reveals that even this rare friendship is impossible to maintain in the brutal environment of the ranch. George is left alone, demonstrating that companionship is only temporary in this world.

Feedback

• This is a confident higher tier response.
• There is assured discussion of several different parts of the book, showing a secure grasp of the text as a whole.
• Details are commented on, with analysis shown, so there is evidence of the ability to move between the general and specific when commenting on the text.
• The context of the novella is discussed and linked to the question.