Rapper: Hey!
Makeda: Hey, Frank!
Rapper: Nicht Frank, bitte, or I'll never make it big! Ich hei脽e Rapper, it's my stage name.
Makeda: Rapper?! Haha, that's not a name!
Rapper: Is now.
Makeda: Is not. Nein!
Rapper: Is too! Ahhhh, anyway! Ready to take in the sounds of the city?
Makeda: Wait! Wait, wait, wait! Es鈥 ist scone鈥 ditch weedersoose-hern.
Rapper: Es ist scone鈥 ditch weedersoose鈥? Ach so! Es ist sch枚n dich wiederzusehen!
Makeda: Yeah!
Rapper: It's nice to see you again! Nice to see you too Makeda! So great that you're already speaking German. Es ist sch枚n dich wiederzusehen. Some letters sound different to English in German, which is why I didn't understand you the first time.
Makeda: Oh, so more like, es ist shun鈥 ditch veederzuseyhen.
Rapper: Ja. Ja. Kind of. You know 鈥榚s ist sch枚枚枚枚n dich wiederzusehen鈥. It's 鈥樏睹睹垛. Like like like, 鈥樏睹睹垛.
Makeda: Sch枚枚枚n.
Rapper: Yeah. And you know it's not 鈥榙itch鈥, like you're going to fall into it. It's 鈥榙ich鈥, like an angry kitten.
Makeda: Dichhh!
Rapper: Ja, super. But a little softer, like a soft little kitten hiss. 鈥楧ich鈥.
Makeda: 鈥楧ich鈥. Okay, got it!
Rapper: And you know, for 鈥榳iederzusehen鈥, it's not 鈥榳heeee鈥, like you're on a slide. It's 'vee', you've got to give it some vroom! 'W' is always pronounced 'v'. 'IE' is always pronounced 'e'. With 'IE' and 'EI', you always pronounce the second letter. Anyway鈥 lass uns in die Stadt gehen! Let's head into town!
Makeda: But, 鈥榃ie korfe ich enne Fahrkart?鈥 How do I buy a ticket?
Rapper: Ach, Makedalein. I'm going to have you speaking 鈥榩erfektes Deutsch鈥 in no time. Komm, ich gebe dir ein paar Tipps. We put the 'i' in Polizei, and the 'e' in Batterie, when you go to the Zoo 'Tss!', you'll maybe see some 鈥榝ff-Vieh鈥.
Makeda: So 'EI' is 'i', and 'IE' is 'e'. And if I find a 'Z', then it's 'Tss' like 'Tsunami'. And if I have a 'V', then that's a 'fff' like 'Vieh'. Okay, I think I can handle that!
Rapper: Oh Makeda, there's more to it than that. There's the '枚', '眉', '盲' and the 'eu', 'er', 'o'.
Makeda: Eh?
Rapper: 脛h! Exactly, genau! It's the 鈥樏刾fel鈥 on the table, and the '脺' of 鈥樏糱ercool鈥. It's the 'er' that's like your hair, 鈥楬err鈥, and the 'eu' that's 'oy' like 鈥楨ule鈥, 鈥極i鈥! Double 'S', it's not a 'B'.
Makeda: Stra脽e!
Rapper: It's not a double 'u', it's a 'vee'. It's the 'o' of your Po.
Makeda: O!
Rapper: And words that end in 'D's are 'T'.
Makeda: Deutschland! So is that it? So it's an 'i' in Polizei And an 'e' in Batterie. If we go to the Zoo鈥
Rapper: 'Tsooh!'
Makeda: Doh! We'll maybe see some 鈥榝ff-Vieh鈥. Those were the 鈥樏刾fel鈥 on the table, We're the '脺' of 鈥樏糱ercool鈥. It's the 'er' above his hair, that 鈥楬err鈥!
Rapper: And the 'O' that's in my Po. So that double 'S' is not a 'B'
Makeda: Stra脽e!
Rapper: And at the end a 'D's a 'T'鈥
Makeda: Like 鈥榖and鈥?
Rapper: Ja, now you've got it! All that's left is that a 'B's a 'P', but only when it's at the end of a word. So like鈥 Sieb!
Makeda: So at the end a 'B''s a 'P', all right!
Rapper: Uuh鈥 How do you have so much Energie?!
Makeda: Well, I get there's EI in Polizei, I got there's IE in Batterie, I've got the 鈥樏垛 in 鈥楽ch枚n鈥 and the 鈥榗h鈥 in 鈥業ch鈥. I can say you are a 鈥楬err鈥 and I know it's 鈥榝ff鈥 in 鈥榁ieh鈥. 鈥榋鈥 is like the 鈥楾ss鈥 from 鈥楾sunami鈥. I can buy some 鈥樏刾fel鈥 if I want to, let's just not talk about your 鈥楶o鈥. We live on a 鈥楽tra脽e鈥 and we're in Deutschland and I always know we're 鈥樏糱ercool鈥. Sorted, really.