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A: Hey!
B: Hey there!
A: How are you? It's been a while!
B: I know, it must have been' at least 2 years! I'm very well thanks, and yourself?
A: I'm brilliant thanks. It's good to see you again!
B: Yes, it's great to see you too. So, what's new?
A: Well, I quit the job I was in a few years ago, and I didn't have much work for a while, but I found a new job so these days I'm doing a little work as a vampire.
B: I see, how's that going for you?
A: It's all good, although garlic is becoming more abundant, it's terrible for us vampires, it causes major rashes and often melts us into a pool of vampire coloured liquid with no possible way of becoming a vampire again, but I'm getting regular work so I really have no complaints.
B: I hear pay is getting worse in the vampire profession? Are you coping?
A: No, it's terrible. I'm doing part time work as a zombie, it's a similar line of work so I didn't need extra training, the pay is much better.
B: If the pay is so much better, why not just quit vampiring and get a full time job as a zombie?
A: Bad prospects in the zombie career. The vampire is a safer route, chances of promotion are on the table.
B: Good luck with the promotion push then.
A: Thanks! I'll defiantly keep you updated. What line of work are you in? Still working as a garden gnome?
B: Yes indeed. The family moved house last month, was a major quefuffle. I was contemplating handing in my resignation, but I decided against it. They pay well.
A: Where did they move to?
B: About 5 miles out of town. I simply cannot get into town any longer, I really must find a family in the town who want a gnome.
A: I know a brilliant family, in the suburbs, they pay very well. Shall I pass their details onto you?
B: That would be amazing, thanks! I was at one stage contemplating becoming a fairy.
A: Why didn't you?
B: Nobody believes in them anymore, so why should I waste my time when nobody will appreciate my work?
A: That's fair enough, I don't blame you. Its good feel wanted.
B: It is' it is'. But I sure didn't feel too good when the family dog decided to leave his scent on me. I smelt for days.
A: Oh dear, I'm sorry you were on the end of that heartless, vicious attack! That must have been terrible for you.
B: Believe me, it was.
A: Any lasting damage?
B: Just to my mental health.
A: Well, I hope you recover soon.
B: Thanks. Shall I pass your regards on to Mother Nature? She lives just a few houses down the road from me now.
A: Really? She must be getting on for at least three thousand by now?
B: I'll tell her you said that, she'd be delighted to hear it.
A: She's older than that?
B: Oh yes, she's a few million years old now.
A: She's looking very good for her age then!
B: I know, I know. It's all the plastic surgery ' One such as herself really has to keep looking young for the cameras these days.
A: Tell me about it' Who else lives around you?
B: Nobody' It's just me and Mother Nature.
A: Sounds pleasant.
B: It is.
A: ' Well, I must dash. Was nice talking to you.
B: Was nice talking to you too! We must stay in touch.
A: We will I'm sure.
B: So long!
A: Farewell!
B: Auf wiedersehn
A: Goodbye.

A bell rings.

Fin.