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Delilah a dark-skinned teenage girl sits at her dressing table, staring at herself in the mirror.
It usually takes up to a minute for people to stereotype you. That芒聙聶s all we get a minute.
I guess that芒聙聶s why mother works so hard to make me fit for society.
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We芒聙聶re all equal.
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That芒聙聶s what Mrs. bridges tells us all the time, she says we should love ourselves the way we are. Every young lady is charming, amazing, resourceful, beautiful, divine, witty, short, tall, fat and skinny in her own way.
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We芒聙聶re all differently the same.
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But we芒聙聶re not. When I told mother what she said; mother exclaimed 芒聙聹Don芒聙聶t you believe a word that woman says!芒聙聺 Which is quite hard considering she is my English teacher. Mother conveyed a little piece of advice to me 芒聙聹darling listen to me people don芒聙聶t like other people for who they are, they like them for who they pretend to be.芒聙聺 Wouldn芒聙聶t you say mother芒聙聶s advice is more realistic? When mother dies at the age of 210, at her funeral I can I say 芒聙聹my mother give really realistic advice. Bye.芒聙聺
I wonder what our math芒聙聶s homework is? I would know if Michelle hadn芒聙聶t keep going on about public schools.芒聙聺 kids in public schools steal cars, eggs houses and throw food!芒聙聺 When I inquired how she knew this was true she replied, 芒聙聹I watch channel 4 documentaries!芒聙聺 I don芒聙聶t know how that answers my question but I couldn芒聙聶t be bothered to talk to her anymore. So I just smiled. Anne hated Michelle.
Delilah gets up, walks to her wardrobe. Contemplates wearing the brown or the black dress.
What choice!
She looks over to the red party dress her grandmother got her for Christmas.
芒聙聹Red is for clowns, whores alongside the Indians.芒聙聺 Mother loves to discuss the faults and strangeness of the Indians. Considering she is darker than any Indian I have ever met and her thoughts just as strange. I think I should be able to wear red.
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But I芒聙聶m not.
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Delilah is sitting at a long table with her mother and father. Looks up at the wall where the family portrait uses to be.
It is illogical to have such a long table for four people. Well it芒聙聶s 3 now. I remember when Anne and I were little and we would hold hands under the table while eating dinner. The warmth from her hand expelled mother芒聙聶s arctic words and judgment. I remember when father had human characteristics.
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Anne was able to rebel! She knew how to deal with people. She knew how to command attention.
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I want her back.
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They took her away. They put her in the taxi, told me she wasn芒聙聶t part of this family anymore.
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芒聙聹Pregnant tart acting like she didn芒聙聶t come from a proper home芒聙聺 exclaimed mother for weeks. Anne didn芒聙聶t get kicked out for getting pregnant; she got kicked out for being human. This was a person with real opinions, thoughts and a brain god gave her to use. Imagine how much every fibre of your being must hurt when: you are given a list of people who should be your friends; when another person has been picking your clothes for the last 15 years; they even get to decide whether or not you keep your baby.
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芒聙聹People don芒聙聶t like other people for who they are, they like them for who they pretend to be.芒聙聺 What about me! Does what I think not matter, does the fact that I resent her with all my being mean nothing. So many times I have imagined my mother dropping dead many times. I don芒聙聶t like you for who you are. Which is funny cause I芒聙聶m turning into you.
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Ha-ha yes! I have no real worth, my sister held the real value of the family. But she went haywire so you tried to fix up the other one.
Delilah is sitting on a bed that is not her own. In a room we have never seen before.
I wonder what their going to do when they realize I'm not pregnant.