Thoughts On The Spice Reunion
I work in a very busy news room, surrounded by hardened, seen-it-all, sceptical journalists. I've just watched the Spice Girls press conference, in which Geri, Emma and co were also surrounded by hardened, seen-it-all, sceptical journalists. They've announced that the Spice Girls are getting back together and that they are going out on a world tour. Cue rolled-eyes from the journos in this room, and a load of sceptical questions from the journos in that room.
So, seeing as it seems to have slipped a lot of people's minds just exactly how big a cultural phenomenon the Spicers were in their prime (biggest UK musical export since...is it the Beatles? It's something like that...), here's a handy, print-out-and-keep guide to answering whatever cynical guff people are saying about why this isn't an exciting thing.
Because, you see, it IS an exciting thing...
Cynical Guff 1: They're only doing it for the money...
Answer: So what? They're the Spice Girls, not the Clash.
Cynical Guff 2: Surely all of their original fans will be in their late teens and into My Chemical Romance by now...
Answer: The band appealed to a much bigger range of people than anyone ever gives them credit for. Plus, who says My Chemical Romance fans can't like pure pop from their childhood? The taste police? Kerrang!?
Cynical Guff 3: But weren't they just manufactured pop rubbish? I bet they won't even sing live...
Answer: Sure they will. Or about as live as Beyonce does. In any case, it doesn't matter. They're the Spice Girls. It's DIFFERENT FOR THEM....
Cynical Guff 4: I'm above caring what five rancid [insert offensive name for girls here] are doing these days...
Answer: Then you are 'above' pop music and are officially a rocksnob. Don't get me started.
Cynical Guff 5: I could handle Take That getting back together, because at least that Gary Barlow is a proper talented songwriter...
Answer: Tell him to come up with something as exciting as 'Spice Up Your Life', or 'Say You'll Be There', then we'll talk...
Cynical Guff 6: That Geri Halliwell though, she talks a lot of cack...
Answer: That she does. But without her, the band fell apart and no-one bought their records. She's ESSENTIAL.
Cynical Guff 7: But they really can't sing..
Answer: Yes they really can. Emma Bunton can sing. Mel C can sing. Mel B can sing. Geri and Victoria are the actual proper celebrity-type STARS... C'mon people, meet me halfway here!
Cynical Guff 8: God, who else is going to get together again? B*Witched?
Answer: If they do, and they keep their reunion concerts to a three song performance of 'C'est La Vie', 'Rollercoaster' and 'Blame It On The Weatherman', why the hell not?
Cynical Guff 9: But hang on, wasn't ChartBlog moaning about Take That being given undue credit for getting back together a while ago?
Answer: Yep. And if anyone ever claims that the Spice Girls are the Fifth Most Important British Band Ever, they'll get the same treatment. And if they make any new records, and they are boring, same thing. Doesn't make them worthless.
Cynical Guff 10: Oh God, it's going to be a whole YEAR of TV and radio people saying "what I really, really want" and "zig-a-zig-ahh!" in a condescending tone of voice, every time the band are mentioned, isn't it?
Answer: Yep. HIDE!
That is all...
Comments
I take a more straightforward approach to this. My answer to any of the above statements would've been "SHUT UP, THE SPICE GIRLS ARE ACE."
Where do I queue for tour tickets? Just here? Okay, great. *waits patiently*
hahaha 'Cynical Guff 2: Surely all of their original fans will be in their late teens and into My Chemical Romance by now'..... i wonder why that made me laugh
the whole getting back together will either be a fantastic flop or the biggest thing in british pop history. are they keeping their spice names? if so i think thats just one of the factors paving the way for the flop, i mean can 31 year old emma bunton be taken seriously if she carries on the aka baby spice thing? and do people really go for the hardcore cheese thing anymore (come on...spiceworld, need i say more?)? maybe they should try out for eurovision.....
and most of their fans i think will have out grown them. and even if not they cant just pick up where they left off. with take that it was different, the fans were sligtly older and its not embarrassing to ever admit you liked them. the fans stayed true to them throughout their absence. spice girls on the other hand... i cringe to think, even though i was like 8 when they broke up, that i ever liked THEM. maybe thats just me, i dunno. all of there fans will have matured without them which didnt happen AS much for take that so take that still was influencing their musical taste when it really started to form.
i think greatness of a band (well, group in their case) can only be truely tested by the loyalness of their fans. if you get 17 year olds going to see them after crawling their way from the shadows then it would have been a real success, i just cant really see that happening...
*cynical guffster* But doesn't everyone dress like a tramp and spout rubbish about it secretly being feminism these days anyway? I don't see why we need five ageing Jodie Marsh's to add to the Frankenstein they already created.
Eurgh. I love pop but I truly, truly hate the Spice Girls. Sorry everyone!
[Is it the dressing up or the fake-feminism you can't stomach? Cos surely Girls Aloud dress just as trashily? Personally I always liked how Geri Halliwell's brain sifted fantasy from reality on a really intense level. Sorry, did I say 'reality'? Sifted fantasy from really mad fantasy, that's what I meant. And she was always my favourite, as a result. Totally wrong about feminism, but then, aren't a lot of people? - Fraser]
You have it the wrong way round! I truly, truly, hate pop but the spice girls are a lot better than most! (don't start hating me cos i'm a rocksnob plz)
I'm sure I would have thoughts.. they would probably be along the lines of "this could be interesting, do you think they're all going to do the crazy dances again? I wonder if there's popcorn... oooh and was that baby ever Eddie Murphey's?!"
Unfortunately my head has just gone straight for the "I'll TELL you what I want, what I really really want" instead. And they say humans are rational..
oooh Kerri, totally with you on the names. Imagine if she went back to sitting there sucking a lolly.. that'd be even more ridiculous than it was the first time :P
I get a bit irritated at the way Girls Aloud dress these days, too, although they never stand there going 'THIS IS GIRL POWER' whilst flashing their pants at least, I suppose. Although really they just get away with it in my mind because I really like their music and have Nicola Roberts, whereas I have never liked the Spice Girls' music (despite being twelve at the required time) and they just seemed like some terrible advertising campaign. I consider them a very hefty factor in the commercialisation of women in the last ten years.
However, I do think Geri is ace and always have -I used to have a doll of her (one of the barbie-style ones they did) if I remember correctly. I'm sure they're all quite ace ladies themselves but the whole thing seemed quite unpleasantly engineered in a creepy exploitation manner, to me.
Or maybe I'm just bitter because you weren't allowed to be cool if you didn't like them, who knows. :D
hey! whoever wrote that, you officially woke me up! i never thought possible after terrible night and waking with terrible news... good job
[I take it the terrible news wasn't that the Spice Girls are getting back together? - Fraser]
I registered to be able to buy tickets and i dont care what anyone thinks. I think its hit and miss as to whether it will quite be the big deal they hope - but i think theres enough interest there to warrent them bothering. Melanie C still has an ardant fan base that I'm sure will want to go. It's one last hurrah, and i would very much like to don my spice girls watch (don't ask) and pretend I am a drunken 18/19 yr old (when my best drunken times were) instead of an aging 27 yr old who still has them on her ipod and join them in that hurah
if people liked take that enough to big them up to 5th most influential band and robbie bloody williams as one of the most influential britians (wtf!) then i'm sure we can all forget our 'coolness' to spice up our lives one more time. For better or worse, spice girls are responsible for changing alot of things over here and breaking pop back into the charts in America - the billboard hot 100 would be a very different place had the spice girls not gone over and broken pop back. And i think thats a good thing.
At least the spice girls know that its all about fun pop music and dont take them sevles too seriously (unless you count the Forever album, but we'll avoid that one) unlike girls aloud who seem to think they are a bonefide 'band'. Spice girls sung live more than girls aloud ever do - and they were put in a band for their singing talents rather than their 'girl power' message.
and i finish on the ever mature end of - so ner!
everyone remember when the spice girls were HUGE?
yes of course. maybe not everyone loved them but loads did.
im sure loads of people will go to the concert because:
1. it was great pop music. manufactured, fake amazing pop music
2. ahh the memories
i want to goooo
its a bit random but oh well :P xx
I think that its a great thing some of them have been in a bit of a spot of bother recently so this could change all that and get their minds off of it. Sure they aren't the greatest singers but to be honest with you their songs get people up and dancing
sooooo....... if ya wanna be my lover you have got to........ get me some tickets to see them
They aren't coming to Glasgow :( GUTTED
I loved the Spice Girls and I loved Take That - so it's like all my X-mas's have come at once :D
Why can't people lighten up and enjoy it. It will be sooo fun! And yeah hello - Die hard MCR FalloutBoy GreenDay and The Killers Fan speaking here - I'd sell my sould for a ticket to that concert!
I was devastated when they split up, I was like 9 or 10. I don't care why they're doing it, I just think it's cool that they are. There is no POP left in POP, might as well bring back the verterans.
gah so wat if i like mcr, ill ALWAYS b a spice girls fan. gah it sux dat theyre only doin a show in sydney. means im gonna hav to travel all the way from adelaide. now dats DEVOTION.
ive bin waitin for this moment...
[ must re-learn dance moves ]
Is it the dressing up or the fake-feminism you can't stomach? Cos surely Girls Aloud dress just as trashily?
Please dont compare or even use Girls Aloud in the same sentence as the Spice Girls. They annoy me tremendously. The Spice Girls were fun and weren't so obsessed with apprearances. Girls Aloud are a poor mans Spice Girls.
hi love you guys begin some good music out coz you guy are cool i still have a poster of you lot for year agos i am 15 now
HEY!!!
I think it's not a questions WHY or WHY not THE SPICE GIRLS are back!!!
It starts as a rumour (how everything) long long llllllooooooonnnnnnnnggggg time ago!
AND NOW!!
MY TEENAGER DREAMS comes true!
YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!
Don't about the "ohters" the ONE AND ONLY british group is back....(maybe the Beatles are still the same step, but...)
Come on girls and SPICE UP MY LIFE :-)
I soooo f* nervous (sorry but "f* describes my feelings best *lol*)
I'm ready for your PARTY at the O2 (or just a rumour???!)
Take care of you all
Your biggest (slim) fan from
G E R M A N Y :-)