The Falls, Guys.
Another Sunday, another Zed family outing. This time we headed fifty miles north of Inverness to the Falls of Shin. It lies within the vast owned by Mohamed Al Fayed. He also owns Harrods, of course, and the visitor centre contains an miniature version of the famous Knightsbride store. It all seemed wonderfully anomalous deep in the heart of a Highland forest.
Of course we hadn't driven all this way just to stock up on tins of lemon and oatmeal biscuits of tiny jars of luxury marmalade. No siree. Rather, we'd come to explore the Great Outdoors and trek through one of the many forest trails that have been marked out and colour-coded for bufoons such as us. We chose the red trail, because it looked easiest. One last check to make sure we had brought enough emergency rations (chocolate, crisps, fizzy drinks) and we were off. The trail had a few twists and turns and then, suddenly, we were back in the visitor centre car park.
We'd been walking for exactly ten minutes.
Clearly we had underestimated our collective stamina, so we chose another colour - blue - and followed a slightly longer path that led through a rocky landscape strewn with felled trees and sawn timber and then along the side of the river to the very Falls of Shin themselves. The only moment of drama came when one of the Zedettes moved to brush a black stone from the top of a rock and realised, as it squelched in his hand, that it was a huge black slug.
In the afternoon we were back in the car and stopped off at the Countryside Centre in Lairg. We were the only vistors and were directed towards a darkened, circular room which housed the Woodland Story. This was one of those audio-visual experiences where different panels within the room are suddenly illuminated to reveal three-dimensional cardboard displays, while a dis-embodied voice tells the story of Highland forestry.
I'm afraid I was a bit disruptive and while the Zedettes were transfixed by one of the lit panels, I sneaked into a darkened area behind me. Then, as the spotlights revealed my whereabouts I gave a fair impersonation of a grizzly bear being awoken from his woodland slumber.
I didn't know children could jump that high!
