Gallus Pirates Of Monte-Carlo
Three charming but hapless wide boys are fed up selling pirate DVDs and dodging the police. Now they're using the knowledge gleaned from bootleg gangster movies to plan a heist in one of Glasgow's new riverside casinos. The plan is foolproof except that the city's underworld overlord gets wind of it and orders our nefarious heroes to be "taken out of the picture". There's a frantic chase along the Clyde walkway and it looks like the bad guys will triumph until one of our merry gang spots the wee Saint Mungo dredger tied up on the pontoon at Pacific Quay. It's the perfect getaway craft and they're soon powering 'doon the watter' while waving goodbye to their pursuers with economic use of their fingers.
But have they really escaped?
It soon dawns on our heroes that they have made the wrong kind of enemy and that, really, there's nowhere in Scotland, in fact nowhere in Britain, where they can safely step foot on dry land. So they don't. Instead they steer the little dredger on a course south to the Mediterranean and to the gambler's paradise of Monte-Carlo. It's a dangerous and farcical journey, but they make it and, once there, decide to put their original plan into action, unaware that a Glasgow crime lord's tentacles can stretch very far!
OK...so that's my movie idea, which came to me while I took a lunchtime stroll and spotted the birling about the Clyde. All I need is, say, half a million dollars in development cash and I'm prepared to start work on the script. In my lunch hours, of course.
Your suggestions for likely stars of this flick are now welcome.
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