Hello, Hello, Hello, What's All This Then?
Having finally exhausted the hospitality of family and friends, I woke up in a hotel room in Glasgow this morning, peered out of the window and discovered that the whole building was surrounded by police. There were officers on horseback, on bikes, in speedboats and on foot. Some of them even had guns.
Well, naturally, I began a mental inventory of my past crimes; overdue library books, littering without due care and attention and, of course, driving while under the influence of Annie McGuire.
You're way ahead of me, no doubt, and have realised that I was staying in a hotel on the banks of the Clyde not a stone's throw from where the British Cabinet were having their first since nineteen oatcake or some such thing. That explains the heavy police presence but not why I had to race two constables to the breakfast buffet in order to secure the last banana.
In the afternoon I took a wander out of the office so that I could file an exclusive blog report on the clashes between police and protestors. I walked across Bell's Bridge and had a very nice chat with an unarmed WPC and we both agreed that the weather had taken a turn for the better. I'm revealing the details of that conversation because I believe it to be in the public interest.
In front of the Scottish Exhibition and Conference Centre there were small children stroking the police horses while Mums and Dads sat on the grass munching picnic snacks. It was all very ugly. Crumbs falling out of mouths, the lot.
Finally I took this photograph of the Prime Minister while the rest of the Press Pack were waiting from him to emerge from a side door. Those fools.
Just call me 'scoop'.
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