Paper Monitor
11:28 UK time, Wednesday, 4 July 2007
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
If Paper Monitor didn't already love Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú Four's The Thick of It, then the searingly accurate description of the Independent in last night's special would do it in an instant.
After the prime minister unexpectedly resigns six months early, the Daily Mail's night news editor is desperate to fill the front page with something - anything - concrete about who his successor would be.
"Well what's the news? Just tell me the news and I'll put it on the front page. It's not like we're the Independent - we can't just stick a headline saying 'CRUELTY' and then stick a photo of a dolphin or a whale underneath it. I mean it's cheating, that's rubbish." (All swearing omitted, as it can’t possibly be quoted here.)
This mightily tickles the Guardian's wonderful TV reviewer, Nancy Banks Smith. "At this I began to make noises like an owl. Apparently owls don't go 'Too-wit, too-woo'. One goes 'wit' and the other goes 'woo'. They said so on Springwatch."
Sadly, the Indie has no sense of humour and singularly fails to feature a picture of a dolphin in today's edition, or the word "cruelty". Even though they had an advance copy of the show.
And speaking of The Thick of It, Paper Monitor recently almost bumped shoulders with Malcolm (Peter Capaldi) while out hunting and gathering a spot of lunch. There was a (one-sided) frisson of delight at the thought that he might - MIGHT - just let fly with a stream of inventive invective. Which of course he didn't, the actor being a very nice man indeed… who must have become accustomed to this sort of reaction.
The 
