Paper Monitor
11:55 UK time, Monday, 10 March 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It looked to be a bad day for the umbrella insurance industry when Paper Monitor trudged to the station this morning, all that driving rain and winds with such buffet that even Warren himself wouldn't decry his name being misspelt and confused with the word.
In times of extreme climatic events, there's one organ of the news that Paper Monitor turns to first. And anyone seeking a fix of Daily Express Weather today will not be disappointed.
"THE £1 BILLION KILLER STORM"
Killer? Have we missed something? Ah, but the truth as ever is in the small print. The storm in question has, apparently, already brought "death and destruction to the US and Canada and there were fears it could also claim lives in the UK".
If that's not enough to get you worried, the headline inside tells us to "Get ready for mother of all storms". All of which doesn't quite square with the comments of the man from the Met Office who said on the radio yesterday that such storms happen about once a year.
But there's nothing Paper Monitor likes more than a bit of significant detail and here the Express really delivers, telling us that this "freak spell of plummeting pressure" is called a "bomb". Ohh. Now we're scared.
Of course, the Express used to reserve its Monday front page for stories about a certain deceased princess with such alarming predictability that one could almost set the calendar by its front page headline. That's receded somewhat, but the sight of a more recent start-of-the-week staple leads Paper Monitor to wonder if there might be a bit of fun in a game called How Do We Know it's Monday?
To wit one might answer: because there's another picture of Holly Willoughby in the Sun baring her, yes, shoulders!
Another response to the question could be: because there's an actor on the front page brandishing an award (awards ceremonies always seem to be on a Sunday). With Keira Knightley among the stars to be honoured yesterday, one would have assumed this was an open goal for the Telegraph front page, given its history of fawning over the willowy star. Instead though, it plumps for a more learned line – Kristin Scott Thomas brandishing an award at last night's Olivier Awards for her part in the play, The Seagull.
Checkov mate, Keira.
The 
