Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú

So, what have you done with the rest of Patrick Stewart's bust?

Ash Head? That's where they should put it.

Kilroy was here.

Don't worry. With that low bridge outside this often happens.

Come on, his dentures must be back by now.

things were'nt looking to good for Ong Bak

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

Chinese art is really going places now, thanks to these wheels

It's entitled "Liverpool - European Capital of Culture 2008"

The giant head wondered if the ladies were modern art, or just visitors

It's from a part-work magazine called Art Today! Only another 10,000 copies and I will have the whole statue!

Maybe nobody will notice, Deirdre

Maybe we should rename it "Agardensh Head"

Wot no wall!

We need it to explain the new wight loss surgery the NHS are offering. It's one step up from a gastric band!

oops
note to self - remember to check spelling befor posting....

Things weren't looking too good for Ong Bak

The budget for the Troll in the forthcoming Hobbit movie had been exceeded and cutbacks were being discussed

"I never realised that these modern artists were so way ahead of the credit crunch!"

"Oh come... one spot of paint on a twenty foot canvas, half a head-bust? They've been preparing for years."

When they told me this job would help me get ahead this wasn't what I had in mind.

I can't help but shake the feeling that someone is staring at me...

Well, I thought it was nicknamed "The Silence of the Lama"

Essentially the difference between modern art and rubbish is if it'll fit in a wheelie bin or not

Next...how do we get it up the stairs?

In my head I felt half cut and well trolleyed!

Easter Island - the Budget Tour

It's a pity Zhang Huan isn't Amazonian. "A Shrunken Head" would have been easier to move around.

Good job we got it out of the formaldehyde tank before the last bit of it dissolved!

Apparently the money for the rest of his bust is invested in an Icelandic bank

"She's not is she? Oh god, she is - how embarrassing... I knew I shouldn't have worn this tee shirt..."

You missed out the jacked-up rear wheels and furry dice.

So, the bust is bust

His ear, nose and throat specialist is on a reduced salary, apparently.

"Er, not exactly what I meant by getting ahead..."

Apparently it was a statue of the man who founded the bank!

I hope this is a dual fuel vehicle.

Apparently, Deborah Kerr has the other half

Was it something ash-head?

That's the last time I order a ventriloquist's dummy from there!

Sorry Sir. Embers Only.

His next piece 'Fag Butt' was not quite as popular.

Dating sites, huh!

Ahead behind? Eh?

You mean the display dimensions you gave me were in inches not feet?

It's no good - we can't see him if he's closing his eyes...

He said if we damaged his bust he'd sort us out ... and it's life-size!

The other bits are arriving in an hour

Is there something in my teeth?

Hiding escapers in this vaulting horse is a great idea. But how are we supposed to vault over it?

The sculpture longed to be a member of the chin-touching club, but it was never going to happen...

So this is what a dalek looks like inside!

The giant knew he should have read the LHC warning signs before poking his head inside

He needs to lose some weight. Fetch some sandpaper.

Another chinless wonder

Well, if it's called "The Kiss" there must be more to it

We made it out of all that was left of the bankers we stood near to the nuclear device being tested.

"I heard Obama had it made for Mount Rushmore."

Apparently he's playing hide-and-seek with the curator, but I don't think he's fully thought it through...

Well thank God it's not made out of elephant dung is all I can say.

I don't know how he did it but the eyes just seem to follow you around the room.

Touch your chin like this, he hates that.

The rest of it was owned by Lehmans

It's by Jackson. It's called "Castor and Pollock's."

Did you know that ‘Saatchi’ is an anagram of ‘It’s a…a...ch’...OO!

Ashes to Saatch's and dust to bust

One ... day ... when the years have flown,

Darling, then we'll have a Zhang Juan of our own.

Skyler, meet Nelson.
Hiro

Yes, it was one hell of a sneeze..

Rihanna's on the telephone. She wants to know if she can borrow it for her new video.

Now where did we put the rest of it?

I don't know, it just gets up my nose

It's part of a tribute to the Bash Street Kids.

Apparently, Zhang Huan used to be an air hostess

Everybody Huan Zhang tonight

At least he's not all mouth and trousers

Tesco introduces new trolleys for its Fine Art aisle

"Yes, yes... that bit's missing"
"His chin?"

You remember that tourist who got into trouble on Easter Island? Well he just left this by the back door.

The props department at Heroes weren't sure the latest character "Giant Stone Man" would make it to the 4th series.

It's symbolic of the sculptor's state of mind - "Office Trolley"

The hen party organisers wondered how they were going to get the bloke in a thong inside

Beldar Conehead: "Mip! Female Earth creatures, I seem to have become detached from my mouth unit."

You can't always put Lipstick on a Pig.

No Huan! I said "Hugh’ll bring her, not Yul Brynner…"

So, what's Herod going to do with it now, Salome?

Revenge of the Blondes Joke #23: How many brunettes does it take to stage a head?

Not the new face of Revlon.

It's entitled 'How to get ahead in advertising.'

Well, they're pretty much all on display now, we're just missing those eight priceless original Damian Hirst sketch books..

Are you sure we got all the parts? The assembly instructions mention something about a knee

Lord of the Rings meets Lilliputians

Saatchi's big head.

Disappointed? - Course I'm disappointed. Chap says he's from Nantucket - wants to give me some head. What would you assume?

Preparations were going well for the remake of David & Goliath.

A bowler, perhaps, but definitely not a trilby

No, Zhang can't do hair

Look, Lavinia, if we can just get it back onto the top of Nelson's Column before anybody notices ...

Ash's ears were burning. He knew they were making fun of his chin, but he daren't cry.

Head (thinking) Get your plans off me, and your damn dirty dates

Apparently Zhang Huan was funded by Landsbanki

Mr Volcano Head