Your Letters
17:06 UK time, Tuesday, 30 June 2009
Re : one of your contributors says (of growing veg) "It's not rocket science." No, but growing salad is.
Sue, London
Ladybird 'risk to 1,000 species' somehow reminds me of the song about the old lady who swallowed a fly.
Anne, Chester
MCK (Monday letters), tennis players wear sweatbands on their wrists to stop sweat dribbling down their arms onto their hands. Some wear headbands to stop sweat on their forehead dripping into their eyes. If they were to wipe their faces on their wristbands, these would become saturated and stop absorbing sweat, which would drip onto the handles of their racquets, and then slide out of their hands. This could be quite dangerous for the umpire/ball-childs/audience.
Jim, Coventry
Mike (Monday letters), Jason's Donner Van, as a name, has to be beaten by the van that spent its days parked outside the town where I grew up. 007 Snack Bar: Licensed To Grill.
Erin, Hertfordshire
We have Karl's Burgers: probably the best burgers in the world.
Kathy, Cardiff
What about For Cod and Ulster in Belfast.
Gareth, Carricfergus, County Antrim
The best/most disturbing example was a fish and chip near where I lived as student in Sheffield, on Abbeydale Road, in the late 90s. Often frequented by skinheads, with a big Union flag in the window, it was called A Salt and Battered. Sadly, I'm not making this up.
Andy, Woking
The finest shop puns ever are Tans In 'Ere for a tanning salon, and Veggie Perrin's for a vegetarian curry house.
Timothy, Leeds
Bandwagon time! Around here we've got Hair Force One and All Cisterns Go.
Diane, Sutton
More from Newcastle. There is a carpet store called Get Laid Professionally, with the subscript "or just get gripped and felt".
Daniel, London
My personal favourite is a lift company known as Schindlers Lifts.
Anna, Ipswich, UK
Re JC in Monday's letters. Sometimes clicking on the Letters page is like stumbling into a party where there is no music, but a lot of people standing round in tank-tops, drinking shandy, and snorting each time they utter a bon mot. I like it.
Rachel, Minnetonka
Monitor note: Welcome! Anyone care for a cheese and pineapple stick?
Dearest Monitor,
I have the good fortune to find myself in London this Friday and wondered if you fancied meeting? My train gets in at around 11, so is perhaps a little late for a spot of porridge, however I could entertain myself with touristy things for an hour or two, before maybe a panini and a pint of coffee? I do know that, it being Friday, you will be busy judging the caption competition, so if you can't make it I will understand. I will wear a large yellow sunflower so that you can identify me and would be obliged if you would do the same. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours,
Basil Long, Nottingham
Monitor note: Sounds delightful, but sadly Fridays are very busy in Monitor Towers. Cheese and pineapple stick?
The 
