Caption Competition
13:35 UK time, Friday, 27 November 2009
Winning entries in the Caption Competition.
The competition is now closed.
This week it's French artist Alice Daquet preparing for a performance in a huge balloon at the opening ceremony of an art festival in Tokyo.
Thanks to all who entered. The prize of a small amount of kudos to the following:
6. Candace9839
Guitar Hero post-H1N1
5. aberdeen_girl
*sigh* Looks like I'll be playing Portmeirion again...
4. jellyba
Why Debbie Harry never ages.
3. bennym22
Producers vehemently deny that they are starting to run out of ideas with the Saw Christmas Special.
2. LaurenceLane
Morrissey suggested it for my next gig in Liverpool.
1. discom8
New method is revealed to prevent Sheffield students from urinating in the street.
The 
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Comment number 1.
At 26th Nov 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:Sorry, Alice, but the sound-proofing's the audience's idea
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Comment number 2.
At 26th Nov 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:But you didn't say you'd be needing an electric socket
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Comment number 3.
At 26th Nov 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:I don't think you quite understand the concept of a Freshers' Ball
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Comment number 4.
At 26th Nov 2009, Mr Snoozy wrote:What a fantastic bauble, I'm just not sure my tree is big enough to do it justice!
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Comment number 5.
At 26th Nov 2009, Neil wrote:Er, bathroom? No, it's got a sort of litter tray - will that do?
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Comment number 6.
At 26th Nov 2009, BaldoBingham wrote:I call this 'Ode to West Ham'.
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Comment number 7.
At 26th Nov 2009, Mr Snoozy wrote:New Hubba Bubba advert condemned as being mis-leading...
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Comment number 8.
At 26th Nov 2009, BaldoBingham wrote:So, what makes you think I'm worried about catching Swine Flu?
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Comment number 9.
At 26th Nov 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:The song's five minutes long? Make it three, because that's how much air you've got in there.
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Comment number 10.
At 26th Nov 2009, Neil wrote:Lionel Blair had seen ships in bottles before, but this one was a novel twist.
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Comment number 11.
At 26th Nov 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:Michael Jackson was going to perform in it on his tour
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Comment number 12.
At 26th Nov 2009, BaldoBingham wrote:Err, you with the cigarette, stand away from the bubble, now!
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Comment number 13.
At 26th Nov 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:And, if the audience don't like you, I just use my cigarette, so ...
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Comment number 14.
At 26th Nov 2009, rogueslr wrote:In space nobody can hear you scream. Unfortunately in Tokyo we can.
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Comment number 15.
At 26th Nov 2009, Valerie Ganne wrote:What do you mean, you need the loo?
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Comment number 16.
At 26th Nov 2009, Catherine O wrote:I was a hamster in a previous life.
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Comment number 17.
At 26th Nov 2009, Raven Clare wrote:In space, nobody can hear you play
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Comment number 18.
At 26th Nov 2009, Dr Prithwiraj Das wrote:The moment before curiosity killed the bubble
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Comment number 19.
At 26th Nov 2009, BeckySnow wrote:Tiny lady entertainer hired by frogs to keep spawn amused.
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Comment number 20.
At 26th Nov 2009, Dr Prithwiraj Das wrote:What a blast of a gig!
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Comment number 21.
At 26th Nov 2009, Raven Clare wrote:No, we haven't used this set since the last singer with extreme body odour
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Comment number 22.
At 26th Nov 2009, Neil wrote:Yes, we fill it with helium so you float above the stage, and your voice goes up as well. Trust me, it'll be great!
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Comment number 23.
At 26th Nov 2009, rogueslr wrote:David Blaine managed 44 days in his box, the least you can do is 15 minutes.
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Comment number 24.
At 26th Nov 2009, Raven Clare wrote:My contract specifically stated there'd be a small castle, and some weeds to play amongst
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Comment number 25.
At 26th Nov 2009, rogueslr wrote:Boss, what exactly do you mean 'kick off's in 5 minutes'?
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Comment number 26.
At 26th Nov 2009, BeckySnow wrote:They don't do gravy!
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Comment number 27.
At 26th Nov 2009, Discombobulator wrote:New method is revealed to prevent Sheffield students from unrinating in the street.
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Comment number 28.
At 26th Nov 2009, Raven Clare wrote:After the management had seen Alice's body, they changed a few things, but still honoured their commitment to let her play in something see-through
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Comment number 29.
At 26th Nov 2009, Dave wrote:Visitors to Damian Hurst's new installation were shocked by his latest dissection.
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Comment number 30.
At 26th Nov 2009, Robert McKay wrote:'go away with that cigarette'
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Comment number 31.
At 26th Nov 2009, Hugh McKinney wrote:Rehearsals for the new series of the Prisoner were well underway.
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Comment number 32.
At 26th Nov 2009, rogueslr wrote:Bono says he still don't think it'll keep him dry enough at Glastonbury, so back to the drawing board.
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Comment number 33.
At 26th Nov 2009, Rhetorical Answer wrote:"I've got one on my mantlepiece. Just turn it upside-down and shake it..."
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Comment number 34.
At 26th Nov 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:This is what happens when you don't believe in faries!
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Comment number 35.
At 26th Nov 2009, Raven Clare wrote:I know there aren't any creepy-crawlies in your ball - the bushtucker trial is for the other celebrities who have to listen to you play
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Comment number 36.
At 26th Nov 2009, BeckySnow wrote:A prize at a goldfish-run fairground.
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Comment number 37.
At 26th Nov 2009, Dave wrote:Alice explains how she produces her very avant-garde music just before the Zorb is set rolling down the hill.
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Comment number 38.
At 26th Nov 2009, Raven Clare wrote:Alice had been warned to watch out for the club's bouncers
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Comment number 39.
At 26th Nov 2009, Discombobulator wrote:Oops #27 should read urinating !
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Comment number 40.
At 26th Nov 2009, Rockahula wrote:'Yess, seence going down zee route urban, ah lak to sink of my style as zee 'bubble rap'...'
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Comment number 41.
At 26th Nov 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:For my next song I'm going to do Madonna's "Like a Virgin" - Don't come near my balloon!
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Comment number 42.
At 26th Nov 2009, Pendragon wrote:Your next gig's in Workington
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Comment number 43.
At 26th Nov 2009, BeckySnow wrote:Makes Mariah Carey seem grounded.
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Comment number 44.
At 26th Nov 2009, GirlWeekday wrote:'Vat? Zey don't like my take on: Western Style Maki Roll?'
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Comment number 45.
At 26th Nov 2009, GirlWeekday wrote:'Vat? Zey don't like my take on: Western Style Maki Roll?'
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Comment number 46.
At 26th Nov 2009, Dave wrote:It's Fender's new model, the Stratosphere !
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Comment number 47.
At 26th Nov 2009, rogueslr wrote:I worked with an American fashion designer to create it, it's called Self Obsession by Calvin Klein.
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Comment number 48.
At 26th Nov 2009, Pendragon wrote:Next time, make certain the zip on your tent's working the night before a gig
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Comment number 49.
At 26th Nov 2009, sovolich wrote:"I heard about the rain - just though I'd stay safe"
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Comment number 50.
At 26th Nov 2009, Dave wrote:The global recession forces Nina to rewrite her most famous song.
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Comment number 51.
At 26th Nov 2009, Pendragon wrote:I don't care how much you like beans, don't eat them the night before a gig
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Comment number 52.
At 26th Nov 2009, Pendragon wrote:Sorry, Alice, I can't hear a word you're saying, so just play
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Comment number 53.
At 26th Nov 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:It's to round out your repetoire
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Comment number 54.
At 26th Nov 2009, Pendragon wrote:Christo's latest work was more modest than his previous efforts
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Comment number 55.
At 26th Nov 2009, rogueslr wrote:So, what makes you think I don't get on with the rest of the band?
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Comment number 56.
At 26th Nov 2009, Pendragon wrote:And just wait until Bill Wyman opens this present on Christmas Day
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Comment number 57.
At 26th Nov 2009, Discombobulator wrote:Why is there an additional £10 charge for using the balloon?
That's inflation.
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Comment number 58.
At 26th Nov 2009, PPD wrote:Once again the Lionel Blair Defence Shield proves it was worth the £20 she paid for it.
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Comment number 59.
At 26th Nov 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:You play ball with me and I'll play ball with you. Now, about that contract........
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Comment number 60.
At 26th Nov 2009, Catherine O wrote:A bit drastic you say? You obviously haven't seen Uncle Keith at a wedding before.
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Comment number 61.
At 26th Nov 2009, John Stevenage wrote:It may be popular now but one day your bubble will burst !
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Comment number 62.
At 26th Nov 2009, MuteJoe wrote:When it came to charades, no-one could top Alice's Michael Bublé.
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Comment number 63.
At 26th Nov 2009, PPD wrote:She always took precautions when she played "It's Raining Men". Just in case.
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Comment number 64.
At 26th Nov 2009, John Stevenage wrote:Try it again and this time with more bounce !
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Comment number 65.
At 26th Nov 2009, sarahtrieste wrote:What makes you think I'm giving you the run-around on your gigs?
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Comment number 66.
At 26th Nov 2009, PPD wrote:"That's torn it...I've put my stiletto through it!"
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Comment number 67.
At 26th Nov 2009, rockhulley wrote:"The agent wasn`t impressed with Michael Buble`s new image."
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Comment number 68.
At 26th Nov 2009, rogueslr wrote:Yeah, it's to publicise my new musical 'High School Rock Phobia'.
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Comment number 69.
At 26th Nov 2009, John Stevenage wrote:The Snowman asked me to hold his guitar while he went to the loo......
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Comment number 70.
At 26th Nov 2009, PPD wrote:No one was sure what was worse...his 'Michael Jackson' or her 'Bubbles'.
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Comment number 71.
At 26th Nov 2009, D Brown wrote:The new series of the Crystal Maze was hit by some serious budget restrictions
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Comment number 72.
At 26th Nov 2009, MuteJoe wrote:We've packaged you in a protective atmosphere to keep you sounding fresh.
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Comment number 73.
At 26th Nov 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:Rock 'n' roll
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Comment number 74.
At 26th Nov 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:My main musical influence? Err, 'Pinball Wizard'.
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Comment number 75.
At 26th Nov 2009, PPD wrote:At last, her career was set to soar
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Comment number 76.
At 26th Nov 2009, D Brown wrote:Picture in your mind a beautiful woman. Make her a rock chick. Now put her in a bubble and release it to the world. One day your dream might come true.
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Comment number 77.
At 26th Nov 2009, david regan wrote:Don't worry luv!
They're a very tough audience, but I'm sure you'll roll them over!
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Comment number 78.
At 26th Nov 2009, PPD wrote:"Oh, this is nothing, you should have seen what I had to wear when I played with Kite Bush".
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Comment number 79.
At 26th Nov 2009, D Brown wrote:Blowing smoke rings is a talent yes, but watch this!!!
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Comment number 80.
At 26th Nov 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:We filled the balloon with methane, so I just use my cigarette and you've got your grand finale for "Great Balls of Fire"
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Comment number 81.
At 26th Nov 2009, david regan wrote:..... and you're sure that changing '99 Red Balloons' to '1 Big Clear Balloon' is gonna work???
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Comment number 82.
At 26th Nov 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:Morrissey suggested it for my next gig in Liverpool.
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Comment number 83.
At 26th Nov 2009, GuitarKate wrote:"I know I told you to bring back Rock and Roll, but what I meant ......"
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Comment number 84.
At 26th Nov 2009, david regan wrote:Alice : "I don't know who was in here last, but have you seen the mess they left"!
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Comment number 85.
At 26th Nov 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:You're not really Michael Ball's sister Alice, are you?
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Comment number 86.
At 26th Nov 2009, david regan wrote:Alice in Hamsterland!
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Comment number 87.
At 26th Nov 2009, Kieron wrote:Can you do pop?
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Comment number 88.
At 26th Nov 2009, Rosie wrote:I've got a dandruff problem, all right??!!
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Comment number 89.
At 26th Nov 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:Who you calling clackers?
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Comment number 90.
At 26th Nov 2009, PPD wrote:What - you've never heard of "Tokyo Bazooka Joe"?
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Comment number 91.
At 26th Nov 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:What did you expect for your £25 Lapland Experience? Real snow?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 91)
Comment number 92.
At 26th Nov 2009, GuitarKate wrote:"Gosh. I wish i had one of those in my Punk Rock days when I used to get covered in spit".
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Comment number 93.
At 26th Nov 2009, david regan wrote:And now, signing her version of the classic "I Get Around", give a warm welcome to Alice and the Beach Balls!!
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Comment number 94.
At 26th Nov 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:When they said we were hiring the girl with the big orb, I thought you were an Amazon
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Comment number 95.
At 26th Nov 2009, Jonny wrote:My mother told me about you… so I took protection!
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Comment number 96.
At 26th Nov 2009, david regan wrote:Cirrection due to spelling mistake ......
And now, singing her version of the classic "I Get Around", give a warm welcome to Alice and the Beach Balls!!
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Comment number 97.
At 26th Nov 2009, Rob Falconer wrote:Unfortunately, the compere popped Alice's bubble-gum balloon before the Guinness officials could get there
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Comment number 98.
At 26th Nov 2009, david regan wrote:Does my bum look big in this!
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Comment number 99.
At 26th Nov 2009, LaurenceLane wrote:I'm also known as Zorba the Geek.
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Comment number 100.
At 26th Nov 2009, MuteJoe wrote:This is the last time I do a gig at the Sea Life Centre.
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