Paper Monitor
11:38 UK time, Thursday, 12 November 2009
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
They say exams are getting easier. But if put through the new computerised marking system used to assess school essays, would the articles about this innovation pass muster?
The non-redtop papers report on how the system marks down Churchill's famous "We shall fight on the beaches..." speech for repetition, awarding it an F in the equivalent of an A-level English exam. (Is that a pass or a fail these days?)
So the computer says no to repetition. And to metaphor, and to the many tricks writers deploy for dramatic effect. "Ungrammatical", it said of the climactic scene in Lord of the Flies in which Ralph tries to flee from the other children:
"The savage knelt down by the edge of the thicket, and there were lights flickering in the forest behind him. You could see a knee disturb the mold. Now the other. Two hands. A spear. A face."
And when fed passages of Anthony Burgess' A Clockwork Orange, reports the Times. True, but that is rather the point.
So how does the computer compare to a human marker? The Independent has a that may be of cold comfort:
"Isabel Nisbet, acting chief executive of Ofqual, the independent exams watchdog, argued that students could compare the computer's assessment to a marker who had experienced a rough night before marking an exam."
Meanwhile, the Sun and others pile into news that police chiefs have compiled a for bike-mounted officers.
"The potty pamphlets, running to 93 pages in TWO volumes, tell cops how to balance so they do not fall off."
So the paper drafts in an expert beginner to write a MyView column - Nelly Merritt, a four-year-old who finds cycling easy:
"I LOVE my bike. It's pink with flowers and I have a matching helmet.
I just climb on to the seat and start pedalling with my feet.
I used stabilisers at first but now it's so easy I whizz around and go for really long bike rides with my dad.
I did fall off last week and hurt my knee but Mummy said to get back on and I did.
I can even ride with one hand and go really, really fast!"
And finally, a paper review on the radio this morning set Paper Monitor to musing. The presenter commented on the Daily Star's deployment of "sponger" in its headline about the economically inactive: "Haven't seen that word in the papers for a bit".
Newspaper search service Lexis Nexis begs to differ. In the past three months, it has been used 49 times, mainly in the Star, the Sun and the Dailies Mirror and Express. Oh, and twice in the Guardian. Surprised? Once in an interview with Ricky Gervais, the other in a cryptic crossword clue.
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