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It's alright, she's my cheque mate.

It's just as well it's called a 'clearing house', because I think you're going to need a shovel in here shortly.

Well, it's certainly not a cash cow

And I had a devil of a job trying to stuff one in your Night Safe yesterday evening

Now don't get uppity that she called you a cow, actually, I've been meaning to have a talk with you about that.

At last the listening bank herd

Of course she's with calf - I've written "I promise to pay the bearer ..."

Can you put this in my deposit account? She's just made a deposit.

Could I have 3 fives, a ten and 4 pints of Gold Top?

Of course we'll accept it, Mr. Herbert - it's worth a devil of a lot more than five pounds anyway.

Bankers find a way to get around having their bonuses taxed

Boris had always thought he was a steak holder in the bank..

There's actually a lot in common with your board of directors, both are full of the same substance, unfortunately Daisy left most of hers on your door mat.

Suddenly, there was a run on the bank

I've got two cheques, oh, and an old bloke with wobbley hand-writing, can I pay them in please?

I'm sorry sir, I'll admit this is the Jersey branch, but we still don't accept more than a monkey in a single transaction!

I had been thinking I'd change my name to Hay P Herbert.

This shows how the major City banks got the idea of giving their staff their pay cheques written on Lamborghinis - but no bonuses this year, of course

The owner of McDonald's pays in their first week's takings in 1940

As a tax payer I have a steak in this bank.

She just followed me in, said something about it being friesian outside.

It looks as if the customers at the rear are about to get a withdrawal a little earlier than they expected

Federer hasn't won again has he?

No, not into my savings account - the udder one

Well, someone had to submit it

Farmer Jones, do you have any proof of identity ?

I'm afraid we don't accept payment in kine, Sir

Yes, Sir, our profits have quadruped in the last twelve months

"I'm afraid you've gone pasture overdraft limit. We're friesian your account."

YOU'll have a cow when you see the mess she's made

What do you mean, we could argue over this for a long time - they have come home

That's the last time I ask for cashback at the farm shop.

I wish to moooooove my money to a different account

So that鈥檚 one first class ticket, seven second class, and one cattle class..

We're going green on the payroll

I promise this cheque wont bounce

We ran out of money so we had to barter the bank bonuses you see.

There's no need to go and get a mop - I just said that here's my cow, Pat

Does she have two forms of ID?

Yes, I will have fries with that.

Well, you can't see it from there, but I have put a full stop after "Barclays Bank Ltd."

The abbatoir started using fake banks as cover, as the cows became more aware of fate

And our overdraft fees are udderly ridiculous

I'll tell you this - I had a devil of a job getting her into the taxi

The boss said more cowbell so here we are

Daisy was happily taken to Barclays, as she thought it was the lush field that Flossy the sheep had told her about

Of course it's an offshore investment - it's a Guernsey

Oh, I think everybody beefs about their interest rates these days

Pull the udder one? No, look, she's even got an MBA - a "Milking Belly Attachment".

The bisoning bank

Oh, and my tattooist put a refund on my back

What does she mean I'm not legal tender? I'm a dairy cow. Silly moo.

Billy Goat drove the getaway car and Horace the horse was the extra muscle, but Daisy the cow was the real meat behind the heist.

I just hope you like paella - they're moving you to Santander

There's definitely a big deposit coming

In the days before guide dogs, blind men used to have to wear white coats and use cows.

Inside this pantomime cow are two men with guns so hand over all your money now. What do you mean it looks like a real cow? I can assure you it is a pantomime cow. Oh no it isn't. Oh yes it is.

The cheque clearly was not in the post, as the special delivery cost was 拢2700 and a feast including chicken feathers, blood, pork, fish and soybeans.

I've got a byre for my house so tell her where to stick her mortgage.

It is appropriate, as most people feel you're just a bunch of cowboys.

You can provide evidence that your cow weighs 500 pounds, sir?

Buy low, sell high

She does have a watermark actually

'How now brown cow?'

'Five tens, 2 fives and 5 pounds please.....err, moooo' said the cow

To transfer is human, to deposit bovine

He paid in with a Golden Guernsey and withdrew using an Aylesbury Duck, but hey enough about his private life...

It's dongs that you can change for sterling, not dungs.

We herd she was legal tender

鈥淗ow do you know I鈥檝e reached my overdraft limit?鈥�

鈥淏ecause I over-herd it..鈥�

Further evidence that bankers are milking the system

I'd like to get a steak in you company

If you think I'm going to let you witness another signature up THERE, then think again lady.

It was a trick, the grass wasn't greener on the other side, they had in fact built a cinema complex, hotel and huge bank

That's the last time we go on the Jeremy Kyle show, he felt I was only attracted to her for the money.

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Daisy had been to Jersey, Guernsey, Monaco and there was talk of a trip to the British Virgin Islands next

Can you slide her under the window please?

What do you mean you need to check the signature?

Cowawonga dude!

Well, if I can sell her, can I deposit five magic beans?

Its a bull of exchange...

One delivery, Miss, she'll do a far better job as CEO than your last lot...

Early photographs reveal the start of RBS' more relaxed lending policy.

I'm sorry, we're fresh out of pound notes

Well, my wife and I wanted a stable investment

This goes against the grain of our principals, you know

Barclays reveals it`s largest steak holder

The credit crunch actually has several stomachs

Milk money...

Of course she's a mad cow, you charged her a service fee.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

We're here to make a hostile takeover

Is she legal tender?

Well I can guarantee she'll be tender. But legal? Hmm, depends what you have in mind.

The end for the bank was near, although the writing was not yet on the wall

We deposited the rest of the cattle in the drive through...

So, instant access or twelve months at a higher fixed rate? - I'll have t ruminate over that.

Crikey, how did you manage to write that cheque?

Cowpen.

So, instant access or twelve months at a higher fixed rate? - I'll have to ruminate over that.

(spelling correction)

No one realised Neo's involvement due to the inconspicuous white coat...

A cattle prod doesn't sound like much of an incentive to deposit

So, I'm too late, and it's a bear market again then?