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Pet a porter

If anyone dares call this a catwalk ...

Styled by Poochi

Actually, I always buy off-the-pug

I feel pretty - not.

Pet shop pooch

Someone looks like they've had a ruff night.

Fire alarm goes off in the early hours at dogs home for the elderly.

you should see my owners anorak

You said there'd be kitten heels

My dogs are barking

Catwalkies!

it could have been worse it might have been a donkey jacket.

"...well the polls had not predicted this result!"

Sit - fine, roll over - maybe, heels - definitely.

Bob Martins give a really shiny coat

I'm a haute couture hand bag dog.

It's by Coco Chien-el

Actually I'm just an accessory.

The other models say I look like a dog...

Look, when you said I'd be getting a pink slip...

Actually, I just adore working for one of the great Paris fashion doghouses

It's the latest style from Coco Kennelle

Wait until you see leather piece that the pit bull is wearing!

Well if that Meerkat can get away with wearing a smoking jacket .

And the best part is I can use it as a bib when we do lunch later on.

OK, you can do this. Walk pretty and remember not to lick yourself.

Do we models get bitchy backstage? Actually no, we're too busy sniffing each other's rears.

And next we have the supermodel, Claudia Sniffer.

And you should see the darling little pooper-scooper that comes as a matching accessory

Follow my lead.

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See Spot. See Spot run. See Spot hump the leg of the Telegraph's fashion correspondent.

His masters choice.

And it comes with a matching collar, yes?

And I thought they said Dido would be modelling ...

And you thought Parisian models were bitchy?

And what big teeth you have Little Red Riding Hood?

All that grooming and make-up and THIS is my treat?

You mean this lot are willing to pay these prices? They must be barking.

To think we were the first in space found the world cup and world famous for our our gramaphone records and this is how they treat us.

What do I know about fashion ? Armani a dog.

Gucci? No, this is poochy.

I'm not coming out until you get rid of that catwalk

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But its PINK - You KNOW pink's not my colleur!

Miu Miu? That's OK. I thought you said Miaou Miaou.

After this, Cruft's will have to be renamed Scruffs

And I'm wearing an original Yves St. Bernard

No bad(ly dressed) dogs

Unfortunately for Fido, the sushi conveyor belt jammed at that very moment

This is what happens when Cruffs gets a sponsorship deal from Ann Summers.

I'm a fashion police-dog

And I used to think style was something you jumped over

The puparazzi would prove ruthless.

It's so woof it, dahling.

Backstage, the French bulldog and a German Rottweiler had been having the traditional argument as to who owned the Alsatians

And now, with the weather, it's Chien Lloyd

Fame can be so evanescent. One minute you're the catwalk queen, the next you're lunch.

I'm not moving until I get to sniff Paris Hilton.

And here we have Boris, done up like a dog's dinner.

Fifi had to remember that, when it came to her big 'Singing in the Rain' number, she should only swing on the lamp-post

Oh no! I can see some animal rights activists out there, and I'm wearing fur.

I'd like to thank my manager, my walker, Pedigree Chum, but if I ever get my teeth near Zandra Rhodes she'll find out just who man's best friend really is!

Despite obviously unhealthy side effects the fashion world continues to act impressed as designers go smaller than size zero

I need a fascinator, it's as simple as that.

Posing pooch

No balls being thrown, no treats, not even a scratch behind the ears. B-o-r-i-n-g...

Unfortunately, there was a little accident, and they had to use an original Coco Chanel to wipe it up

Anuzzer laugh at moi and I weel reep you apart.

And here we see the latest idea from the Koreans for keeping dinner warm.

I'm taking industrial action until you dress me in cerulean blue.

Actually it's more like a flea cozy.

You can dress me up, but I'm still not going anywhere.

Middle England off to the polling station

Who let the dogs pout?

So this must be the out of focus group.

All eyes turned to the swing voter in today's election.

Journalists, critics and fashion editors, oh my!

Do you think this will fool Red Riding Hood?

The vicious rabid canine,responsible for several savage attacks across the French countryside,was finally cornered.

My tastes in opera? Anything by Poochini.

Princess Katriona III of Chipping Sodbury (Conservative), four thousand five hundred and twenty six...

Contrary to what the program states, I will not be wearing kitten heels.

The CC was facing a glitch
The moderators started to twitch
A female dog's name
Could bring nothing but shame
And you thought I was going to say witch.

They still call it the catwalk, because it sure gets bitchy back there

What would Naomi do...

I lost the trousers due to a wardrobe malfunction.

I duly declare the winner for Barking is Fifi of the Pink Pooch Party.

First one to call me a dog gets bitten.

I especially like anything from Bach, although my owner says I'm more like Offenbach.

There are worries that the Great Dane model might be anorexic

We were going to open with a lounge scene, but I'm not allowed on the sofa

Victoria's Secret here I come.

Who says fashion is going to the dogs?

My ears give me a very pretty profile. Mind you, head on they're a bit of a shock.

Campbell? No, I'm Naomi Pitbull.

His master's choice

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When they told me i was going to be a supermodel, they never told me I'd have to model wearable duvets.