Paper Monitor
12:06 UK time, Monday, 27 August 2012
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
The August Bank Holiday is just another working day - if the fatness of today's papers is anything to go by.
Yes, they seem as fat as any other Monday. The Boxing Day papers are at the other end of the spectrum. While the nation is fat with turkey, the newspapers are alarmingly skinny. Why do they bother at all?
But today there is the usual summer smorgasbord.
The Daily Mail looks forward to the Paralympics with a feature that zeroes in on a number of female competitors. Including a very large photo of one of them .
There is the usual end-of-the-silly-season fare.
The Sun reports on chaos in Solihull caused by a herd of 30 cows and bulls rampaging through the town centre.
It ends another story about a woman plagued by a medical condition that causes her to have a hundred orgasms a day with the quote: "I even tried sitting on frozen peas."
It's not the best sex-related quote of the day. The Mail has a serious court story about a couple in court for having loud sex.
One of the protagonists, 45-year-old Colin MacKenzie from Australia, says: "How can you live in a place where you can't have sex? It's ridiculous. Anyway it's mostly Jessie. The sex goes from four to seven hours, five nights a week. I'll probably die of a heart attack - she's almost killing me."
Right.
In the Daily Star they can only find a paragraph's worth of space for a raid on an Ann Summers store in Portsmouth. A large amount of lingerie was taken.
But the highlight in the Mail is an item about an eight-year-old boy who has an extraordinary rapport with marmots.
There's a big picture.
Nice marmot.
The 
