Thank you for all those we've received (more came in this morning as it happens) but we need MORE! The news monster loves to eat.
I have literally no idea what the hell that means. Sorry. Strong coffee.
Please send your strapline suggestions to pm@bbc.co.uk. And mark it STRAPLINES, enclosing a cheque for 100 pounds.
programme we normally all go to a meeting in the "glass box". I'm not sure it's made of glass but it is see through, and it has chairs in it. it's the same room guests for Broadcasting House hang out in and read the papers, and it's where we hold our 11.00 and 14.30 editorial gatherings.
Last night I had to dash off. I'm making a documentary for Radio 4 and we were recording a couple of interviews nearby shortly after 18.00. I might bore you with the details of the programme nearer the time.
Anyhoo, because of those interviews I was unable to attend the programme "debrief" where we talk in some detail about the programme that's just finished. The meeting normally takes about 15 minutes and is an important part of what we do. Having worked all day on the programme, it's important not to simply walk away once it's done. We talk about what worked, what didn't. Everyone is pretty frank. Except Pretty Frank. Everyone just likes looking at him.
So I wasn't there last night. How do YOU think the programme went? Remember the rules are: don't be cruel, but be honest.
comment column on "Wet" - and have tried the usual fixes.
Is today destined to be like that?
Off to our 11.00.
this morning.
We got this email from Annasee: " Too much glamour & Hollywood yesterday. I feel you need to get in touch with the countryside more. There’s a lot of mud out there you know. It’s not all red carpets, at least up north.
While out walking on the Middlewood Way a few days ago, we happened upon a veritable frog brothel. And as you can see from the second photo, the boys don’t hang around afterwards. They’re off!"
Now, I won't lie to you. I am not sure whether these snaps should be rotated. But then I don't know whether my tyres should be rotated....
from a mobile. I'm guessing it's from Hugh. It's certainly sound advice.
What is the Beach?
It’s a place to go when the stresses of your real life need relieving. Sometimes it is fairly quiet and you might feel like you’re the only one around, but you can leave your ‘footprints’ for others to find later on. Othertimes it is the home for a real party, with constant gossip, leg-pulling, rumour, innuendo, chit-chat and weirdness. If this were a forum (and it sort of is because we post responses to each other, not just to Eddie, hence our term for ourselves 'Froggers', a combination of forum and blogger) then the beach would be the off-topic area.
It's a tropical location, no matter the time of year it's always warm and pleasant there. Sunrises and sunsets are spectacular, the evenings balmy. It has a number of different locations; the Nick Clarke waterfront bar; the smokers corner; Fido's Run for the dog-walkers; the Naughty Step and many others.
How do you find your way around? There is no direct answer to the question. The beach is a moveable feast, literally. It will be renewed by our Lord and master Mr. Edward de Mair each Monday morning. This is because we have found in the past that when the number of posts exceeds about 600 the entire thing becomes unwieldy and unstable. A case of the beach turning to quicksand.
Froggers often leave bottles / glasses / trays of their favourite tipple on the bar for others to sample, not to mention big / small eats.
There is a herd of camels who frequent the sands, which froggers are very fond of. There are sun-loungers, so you can take it easy and catch some rays. Quite often the late-night attendees will have a barbie.
It's a fun place, with only one real rule; Be nice to each other; we are ALL chums here. New Froggers are ALWAYS welcome.
The real debate happens on the other threads. The beach is a place for banter, whimsy, relaxation and friendship, where jarring comments are not particularly welcome. There are certain very mild protocols, which you tend to pick up as you go along. So slip your shoes off, feel the sand between your toes, relax and enjoy yourself.
to send the wonderful PM newsletter. We made enquiries of those in the know when Tuesday's newsletter didn't arrive till Wednesday - but I think everyone's away/on holiday/been made redundant. So with the blind faith for which we are famed, we have sent out the newsletter below. Hope it reaches your inbox.
"Hello,
In the face of all experience, I am trying to send you a newsletter today, Friday Feb 23, 2007. Like a tagged balloon being released at a child's birthday party, it will be released once our editor sends it, and then we have no control over where or when it will land. Will a giant bird come and burst it? Will it crash land in a distant sea in months to come - or will it arrive safely with you? We just don't know.
In the programme tonight, we'll be asking why PM completely failed to win any awards at the Royal Television Society the other night. We think it's because everyone hates us and they're biased against us. Not because the programme, by and large, is rubbish.
Also: we'll talk about teenage pregnancies, Mr Blair's speech to Labour in Wales, Islamic schools, the UN and perhaps, curtains.
See you on the ice at 5.
Double fines during roadworks.
Martha Muir."
to know about the state of the Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú is summed up in the headline used in our internal news system, to mark the arrival of the delightful new presenter on Radio 4's flagship, The World at One.
It says: "Martha Kearney leaves Newsnight".
Anyhoo. We'll struggle on trying to please our 500 or so listeners.
It's serious in here.
The number of marriages in England and Wales has fallen to the lowest level since records began in 1862. The most recent provisional figures for 2005 put the marriage rate for men at 24.2 per 1000 unmarried men. The figures for woman were 21.6 per 1000.
If you look at the number of marriages, there were 244,000 - the figure is the lowest since 1896 (when the population was about half what it is now).
Why is the number so low?
photo crazy again - and why not? Roberto in Miami sends this:
"my photo taken in Miami Florida on the 1st of August 2006 when Castro temporarily ceded powers to his brother Raul. I am the one in the dark sunglasses."
he took when he popped up to TV Centre with Chris Jarvis.
In the meantime, my newsletter from yesterday just arrived. We're doing well, aren't we. Suspect we won't bother today.
West Midlands Police say that a spate of thefts from cars in Coventry has probably been caused by an urban myth. Criminals mistakenly believe that Ford car stereos contain a chip which allows people to receive free satellite TV.
Leaving that aside - I'm in a bit of a tizz. Torn between worrying about Britney and fretting about the Oscars. Monday's show will come live from the Red Carpet - where we'll have the post show buzz, and many of our guests will have a similar buzz. Dame Helen Mirren will be reading the headlines (subject to negotiation) and Dame Ellen (who's hosting this year) will be my special Red Carpet guest.
I've been thinking a bit about rugby shirts. Technically it's sponsorship, and I think there's probably a way of me making some entirely illegal money out of this. I hope it doesn't scupper my dream of being Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú Chairman ("Let The Healing Begin"). Everyone else has pulled out of the running. Can't imagine why.
I never expected what I wear in studio to be an issue, but Big Sis has enquired re my attire on the webcam. PLEASE don't make me start worrying about what to wear. The joy of radio is that I can turn up looking like a tramp (and often do. And as for the smell...) and it won't matter.
There is no rhyme nor reason to whichever rugby top I wear. But that's very boring so I will try to think up some kind of code: a secret message I am sending to webcammers via my shirt.
In the meantime, you'll notice a new link on the right hand side: for easy access to all Hugh's photos. I always do that kind of thing when I'm in blue.
You heard the arguments on the programme: what do YOU think? Some comments may feature on the programme on Friday...
featuring Hugh's talented producer Tara. I worked with her once on an OB in New York. We have both taken a vow of silence about our behaviour. The China trip was very much her initiative so - two thumbs up, as they say in film circles.
Here she is moonlighting for The World This Weekend (Listen Again if you missed it)
and this is Tara sheltering from overwhelming New Year Noise to check her recording.
are nothing if not resourceful. Moaning on a previous post that I should have bought a postcard in Lancaster last week - look what Big Sis has put together!
sends this lovely postcard - the latest in our occasional series from froggers.
"Dear Froggers. Here you may behold some drastic scenery as well as mountain goats and a building bearing the following: TOILETS. HAVE YOU PAID AND DISPLAYED?"
(It's the Valley of the Rocks, Lynton). It occurs to me I should have snapped up a card in Lancaster, but I let you down.
though I'm still writing Year of the Dog on my cheques.
Hugh sends these final thoughts and pictures from China:
"New Year's Day, Beijing. Mind your ears - this was L O U D. Mind your eyes too. This was CRAZY. Hope that man 's cigarette doesn't get too close to that roll of firecrackers.... Drape them all along the fence. Bang, Whoosh, crackle, smoke....HAPPY NEW YEAR! SHINYE HAU! If you have been, thanks for listening. Zai Zhen. "
What is the Beach?
It’s a place to go when the stresses of your real life need relieving. Sometimes it is fairly quiet and you might feel like you’re the only one around, but you can leave your ‘footprints’ for others to find later on. Othertimes it is the home for a real party, with constant gossip, leg-pulling, rumour, innuendo, chit-chat and weirdness. If this were a forum (and it sort of is because we post responses to each other, not just to Eddie, hence our term for ourselves 'Froggers', a combination of forum and blogger) then the beach would be the off-topic area.
It's a tropical location, no matter the time of year it's always warm and pleasant there. Sunrises and sunsets are spectacular, the evenings balmy. It has a number of different locations; the Nick Clarke waterfront bar; the smokers corner; Fido's Run for the dog-walkers; the Naughty Step and many others.
How do you find your way around? There is no direct answer to the question. The beach is a moveable feast, literally. It will be renewed by our Lord and master Mr. Edward de Mair each Monday morning. This is because we have found in the past that when the number of posts exceeds about 600 the entire thing becomes unwieldy and unstable. A case of the beach turning to quicksand.
Froggers often leave bottles / glasses / trays of their favourite tipple on the bar for others to sample, not to mention big / small eats.
There is a herd of camels who frequent the sands, which froggers are very fond of. There are sun-loungers, so you can take it easy and catch some rays. Quite often the late-night attendees will have a barbie.
It's a fun place, with only one real rule; Be nice to each other; we are ALL chums here. New Froggers are ALWAYS welcome.
The real debate happens on the other threads. The beach is a place for banter, whimsy, relaxation and friendship, where jarring comments are not particularly welcome. There are certain very mild protocols, which you tend to pick up as you go along. So slip your shoes off, feel the sand between your toes, relax and enjoy yourself.
pics - greatly enjoyed hearing his report as I was whisked to Lancaster last night on the Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú Leer. Here's what Hugh had to say:
Lunar New Year's Eve here now - even more fireworks than Diwali in Mumbai (which almost everyone there still calls Bombay) Happy New Year of the Pig! Sin ye hau. Sin ye kwai luh.
The pics are of kind people I have met/interviewed (and an obligatory shot of the Forbidden City).
The man with the dog - I just asked to take his picture.
The boy with the sacks is waiting for a train at Nanjing - his Dad is somewhere nearby.
The smiley family asked me to take a picture of them, after I had said "Nee Hau baby!" as I passed by.
Sitting at his table in his very small home in Beijing is Chiang Shao Li, who invited me in after we met and chatted in the street. .
Feels like a long time since I've done this blog - Eric doesn't give it up that easily!. But while he gears up for this evening's Any Questions I've stepped into the breach.
We're doing something on the programme about greyhounds - a builders' merchant who was accused of killing and burying thousands of greyhounds on land at his home has pleaded guilty today to breaching Environment
Agency regulations. Not a nice story. Started a discussion going in the office - Ryan says loads of greyhounds are bred and then shot because they aren't good runners or when they get past their prime. Do any of you have greyhouds - and have you heard about this practice? I'd like to know more.
Happy Chinese New year by the way - this weekend the year of the pig starts.
all the best,
cq
The serious place for serious talk about serious, serious things. Seriously.
snaps later today. Carolyn will be your host for PM tonight while I sit in for Mr Dimbleby on Any Questions - or AQ as they call it. It's AA tomorrow. I don't know whether to have a breakdown or a drink.
What question would you ask the panel this week?
Nee Hau!
Pollution and environment theme today.
Coal-burning power station providing steam central-hearing to a Beijing suburb.
Environmental activist Wen Bo in his office on floor 27 of a district with a population of, yes believe me, 400,000.
Concrete supports for new light railway connecting Beijing with the international airport - should be ready in time for the Olympics.
Tara asking for directions. It is sometimes very difficult - I had an address written down in Mandarin for a taxi driver, who then asked me to read it for him. Thank heaven for mobile phones; connect destination with driver, problem solved.
Recycling paper and cardboard is a lively industry here - sold by weight to local recycling points by the roadside in neighbourhoods. And (bee in my bonnet, this one) you pay a deposit on beer botles here - why don't we do this in Britain any more?
Zai Zhen (byee)!
of something of a frenzy of recorded interviews between 4 and 5 yesterday afternoon (this is my excuse for what I'm about to describe) I finished one, started another, finished that, then started another. Adam the producer said in my ear that Tom (surname) was on the line. I deftly moved to a new subject, beginning to quiz Tom about hospitals that remove every other lightbulb to save money. As I reached the end of the question, and the Tom on the line was beginning to make noises, Adam pointed out that I had got my Toms confused. The one on the line was actually there to talk about Scottish local government. The other Tom would appear live on the programme to talk about hospitals that remove every other lightbulb to save money.
The Tom on the line kindly brushed off my confusion, but would have been forgiven for thinking he was dealing with a clown.
The Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú. This is what we do.
Later, I'll post the pictures from Hugh which I'm confident will be in my inbox at work.
is reading the news right now...but tomorrow when I get a chance, the story of the Two Toms in tonight's programme - and how I got them confused. Clown.
"I find it amazing that Tony Stone would complain about the interview with the Tory agent when the "interview" with the Police cover band delved new depths. p.s.: How do you spell delved?" - David Lovatt
to realise that I'm three espressos a day away from Robbie Williams' intake. Mind you I could do with the time off.
Now listen, we love the abuse we sometimes get on the "listeners' (or is it listener's) log" of things people have phoned up to say about our programme. By and large we deserve it. But someone called after last night's programme with what I can only assume was sarcasm:
"Felt that the programme was excellent. "I feel that today's programme is a very good example of Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú reporting at its very best."
I mean, really.
Most importantly, we have now opened the chocolates some kind listener sent. Very posh and lovely. We may have to force some down this afternoon*. Whoever you are - we love you too.
*this morning, really
that a Blog claiming to be by Chris Moyles is in fact written by members of his production team. I'm told that he hasn't written in his for about six months.
Say what you like about the PM Blog - it may be crap but it's my crap.
been a mad old morning and yet I don't appear to have done anything. 20 to 1 and not a dish washed. If you placed a bet at 25-1 you're quids in.
Rather quiet on the photo front today. Yvonne must be on her way back. Hugh will be up to his eyes somewhere in China, and Chris Jarvis has not appeared at the window with a woman wearing a nappy.
I mentioned in the newsletter (on its way to you now) that someone - and I suspect a frogger - has sent me and the PM team a box of chocs for Valentine's Day. I know no-one will own up but whoever you are, thank you in advance. How kind!
I'm off now to try to get my studio email fixed. It kept asking for names and passwords last night so I logged out and couldn't access any during the programme. It was like the old days. Well, not the old old days - but certainly the old days. In the old old days we would all have been drunk.
On the programme tonight: news from London Fashion Week, and different views on the role of size zero models (actually British Size Four). If you have a view: post it here.
For serious talk on serious things. Seriously.
have completed their stint. Their final piece - looking at how global warming is affecting the Alps will be broadcast on the programme sometime this week.
Among the snaps they've sent, there's this: "Look Hugh, there's even smog in Chamonix"
There's this one of Yvonne "recording a standup at almost 2000 metres overlooking the Mer de Glace glacier."
And finally this shot - "the moment after finishing our final interview before our journey back to London. Au Revoir La France. A Bientot."
which meant that for hours I've been unable to post a thing. I felt speechless.
Then, I think all three Beaches I tried to post appeared - but someone appears to have removed two.
Mondays.
Something we've been discussing in the office today - though it's unlikely to make it onto the air - is the one cheek/two cheek debate, regarding Dame Helen Mirren. When she stood up to accept an award at the BAFTAS last night, she got a peck from a female in the same row. The Dame offered one cheek and her chum seemed keen to go for the double. But the good Dame was off.
One cheek or two?
What is the Beach?
It’s a place to go when the stresses of your real life need relieving. Sometimes it is fairly quiet and you might feel like you’re the only one around, but you can leave your ‘footprints’ for others to find later on. Othertimes it is the home for a real party, with constant gossip, leg-pulling, rumour, innuendo, chit-chat and weirdness. If this were a forum (and it sort of is because we post responses to each other, not just to Eddie, hence our term for ourselves 'Froggers', a combination of forum and blogger) then the beach would be the off-topic area.
It's a tropical location, no matter the time of year it's always warm and pleasant there. Sunrises and sunsets are spectacular, the evenings balmy. It has a number of different locations; the Nick Clarke waterfront bar; the smokers corner; Fido's Run for the dog-walkers; the Naughty Step and many others.
How do you find your way around? There is no direct answer to the question. The beach is a moveable feast, literally. It will be renewed by our Lord and master Mr. Edward de Mair each Monday morning. This is because we have found in the past that when the number of posts exceeds about 600 the entire thing becomes unwieldy and unstable. A case of the beach turning to quicksand.
Froggers often leave bottles / glasses / trays of their favourite tipple on the bar for others to sample, not to mention big / small eats.
There is a herd of camels who frequent the sands, which froggers are very fond of. There are sun-loungers, so you can take it easy and catch some rays. Quite often the late-night attendees will have a barbie.
It's a fun place, with only one real rule; Be nice to each other; we are ALL chums here. New Froggers are ALWAYS welcome.
The real debate happens on the other threads. The beach is a place for banter, whimsy, relaxation and friendship, where jarring comments are not particularly welcome. There are certain very mild protocols, which you tend to pick up as you go along. So slip your shoes off, feel the sand between your toes, relax and enjoy yourself.
has been sent to PM by email.
"We are pleased to inform you of the final announcement that you are one of our end of year winners of the UNITED KINGDOM FREE LOTTERY ONLINE PROMO PROGRAMMER, Ticket Number :4156189324Agent Id Number:110 held on the 7th of feb, 2007. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £1,750,000.00 POUNDS STERLING. Please contact fiduciary agent for your claims.
To file for your claim, Please contact our Fiduciary Agent for VALIDATION.
Mr Anthony Flowers"
It's not enough for us all to retire on but it would buy a lovely meal.
Yvonne sends these from last night's report from France: This
is "the Front National regional council president Patrick Binder under a poster depicting French politicians as liars. He told us Le Pen - who is polling more now than he was at the same point in the 2002 campaign - is seen by lots of French people as an antidote to the elite French political classes".
This:
is a "detail from Strasbourg's cathedral" and the picture below shows "Yvonne tickling a gargoyle"
Meanwhile, Hugh sent these two through yesterday afternoon (he'll be on the programme tonight live from Shanghai) - "For smog-lovers everywhere - Shanghai on Thursday morning, fog, smog, rain, the works. To reduce the gloom, the second pic is of the same view early in the morning on Monday. Heard the first burst of New Year firecrachers this evening - and New Year's Eve isn't until NEXT Saturday."
we recall yesterday's white hell.
Norman Leach says: "Snow brings Chaos to road, rail, sea and air..but at Charlton Lido, South East London, it takes a bit more than snow to deter the intrepid members of the swimming club from their morning swim!
Gillian in Staffordshire sends this:
Toby sends this: "The photo taken from my bedroom window in Oxford first thing this morning (for a student that being about 9.30)."
And Fifi says: "The view is from my office window, where I'm sitting now typing this. You can't see the airbase today because of the drizzly snowdust still falling. But usually it's quite busy with jumping craft and whatnot. Can't possibly tell you where it is though. Although it's in plain view (when not obscured by snow) and clearly signposted, I expect it counts as A Secret."
And howsabout this? "We heard you had a few snowflakes down South today...take a look at some real snow from Moray (that is NE Scotland) this morning. Best wishes, Rob ps And of course we got back safely!"
blogtastic pictures - including some more from Hugh! Will post tomorrow - been snowed under.
Hahahahahahaha oh never mind
"Thank you for the blog which makes work much more fun.
My photo isn't as impressive as Fearless FFred's, but it's the view from my flat (camden, north london) at 6.30am this morning.
take care
Toni"
As you are all no doubt painfully aware, there have been some major technical problems affecting this blog lately, and I appreciate that this has been very frustrating not only for you, but also for Eddie and the PM programme team. As the executive at the Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú responsible for blogs performance, first and foremost, I'd like to offer my apologies and thank you for your continuing patience.
To give you some context, the PM blog is one of a limited number of Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú blogs which are part of a pan-Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú trial, all of which have been affected by technical problems at various times over the last few months. More information about the trial can be found here and here.
During a trial of this kind, problems are, to some degree, inevitable, and they help shape our plans to develop and support further blogs at the Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú. If we are to continue to offer blogs, it's crucial that we come across these gremlins sooner, rather than later. Now, about those gremlins...
from "the wilds of Derbyshire this morning."
dig himself out this morning, clearly..
sent this? Any more snowy pics from today? pm@bbc.co.uk please.
Can't say the same for our editor though. If there is ANY problem with the programme tonight, please blame David.
We are having a private bet in the office about the first time someone on PM tonight says "slushy deposits". It hasn't occured since our last Ann Clwyd was on the show.
About to begin the journey to work. See you at 6.
Where do your sympathies lie?
Now that we think things are working again...you can ask them via the comment link here.
is hard at work. He'll be on the programme tonight. He sends this for froggers:
"You think that's an airport don't you! Well, it's not. It's the main train station at Nanjing, west of Shanghai.
That's Tara (top producer) modelling alongside the new bullet train (two and a half hours to Shanghai instead of three and a half).
And that's an old train, at the next platform.
And those were some of our fellow passengers in SECOND class."
Obviously I always travel first class or higher. And when I am Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú Chairman, everyone will. Especially people at the Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú.
unable to accept blog comments, post a newsletter and who knows, perhaps even get the transmitters to work for the programme tonight, some loyal froggers have found refuge .
As ever, thank you for whatever patience you have left. And please be assured, however annoyed you are - and you are right to be - we are too.
This email just arrived:
"Complement of the day,
Although you might be apprehensive about my email as we have not met before,My name is Mr Song Li le I work with the Hang Seng Bank.There is the sum of 19,500,000.00 in my bank"Hang Seng Bank", Hong kong. i have a business proposal for both of us please do contact me for more details.
Kind Regards,
Mr Song Lile"
If I'm not with you at 5, you'll know why. Though I may have to share the cash with Hugh Sykes whom I'll ask to collect.
has tried for days to send pics of her France trip - but for some reason they get quarantined by the Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú. What CAN have been on them. Still - she stuck with it and today this arrived:
"From a lovely weekend in Paris, apparently in the springtime, judging by the weather - plenty of soleil and not a nuage in the ciel. The plane appearing to fly over the Eiffel Tower is real enough, and I swear that bottom bit was there when I looked through the viewfinder.......Best Wishes from Gossipmistressx"
is crashing the bongs. Damn things started at 17.59.32 last night. I mean - I ask you.
Hugh on the other hand is hard at work in China working on tomorrow's piece.
As an exclusive offer for froggers - Hugh will happily entertain any China related questions you have. The comment link is the way to ask them.
In the meantime, Hugh follows up his brief RANT about Chinese SMOG yesterday with this:
"The smog here is scary. The visibility in Shanghai today is just as you see it (or not) in these two photos taken from the Huangpu riverbank on Tuesday morning. The forecast for today is: warm and sunny. Lovely. The air quality forecast is: Rising from 65 on Monday to 121 on Tuesday, moving from Grade 2 to Grade 3A. Not so lovely.
It says here: 'a Grade A reading calls for people with respiratory problems to reduce outdoor activities'. On the plane over here, I watched the Al Gore movie An Inconvenient Truth. An inconvenient truth for Shanghai - he says - is that, if the ice shelves on Antarctica and Greenland melt, this entire Chinese coastal region will end up several meters under water. And - he says - so will Beijing. And London, of course. Oh well - at least there'll be less smog. "
Tonight, Hugh Sykes, in collaboration with his producer Tara O'Nelly, will bring us the first in a series from China. It's in China, you know. I asked for a pic or two from his travels and here are some. There will be more - and Hugh's piece is scheduled to run just after 17.30 GMT (this is subject to change).
He tells me these are "various images from Nanjing, which you'll hear from on Friday. Those black clouds in the distance are not clouds but AWFUL SMOG".
is, as you know, my slogan for my campaign to become the next Chairman, or if you prefer, Chair of the Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú.
Over the coming weeks I will be fleshing out (stealing from other people) the very best ideas for the future of this august corporation.
I am now ready to announce, in reverse alphabetical order, three random proposals.
1: Revive some of the Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú's best-loved classics with new presenters. "Civilisation" with Robert Mugabe. "The Black and White Minstrel Show" with Robert Mugabe and another presenter, TBC. Film 76, with Barry Norman.
2: Begin to shift the balance between Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú News and Weather. People love the weather forecast but find the news depressing, despite the forecast being more depressing than the news. propose that, for example, PM becomes 57 minutes of weather news and analysis, followed by a brief 90 second summary of the news, followed by a trail for a programme offering deep analysis of the weather tonight at 8.
3: Apply a policy of taking radios away from the stupid people. Take this comment telephoned in about Friday's PM. I have not made it up:
"Felt that Eddie Mair made offensive comments about Manchester. "Eddie Mair claimed that when Mancunians go to their new casino it will be the first time they have seen fruit. This was obviously a rude remark referring to the diet of people in Manchester.""
In fact, the comment was made by the lovely Sandi Toksvig on The News Quiz later on Friday evening - a comment I heard myself as I was being driven home in the Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú Limo. I've been called many things in my time, and I bet Ms Toksvig has too. But to be confused with each other is too much. If I become Chairman, or Chair, if you will, prats like that caller will be hunted down and their radios taken away. They will be given instead, small white carrier bags full of old bread crumbs so they can feed the pigeons in the street, while mumbling their rubbish to themselves. Either that or I will appoint them to the Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú Board of Management.
their tour de France (Geddit?) with another item on the show tomorrow.
Among the snaps they've sent - here are two highlights (with Yvonne's own captions)
"Proof that French men still know the meaning of romance":
and "You can understand why so many Brits want to make a life here. We met a Birmingham couple this morning, who've just bought their dream house in the Dordogne."
What is the Beach?
It’s a place to go when the stresses of your real life need relieving. Sometimes it is fairly quiet and you might feel like you’re the only one around, but you can leave your ‘footprints’ for others to find later on. Othertimes it is the home for a real party, with constant gossip, leg-pulling, rumour, innuendo, chit-chat and weirdness. If this were a forum (and it sort of is because we post responses to each other, not just to Eddie, hence our term for ourselves 'Froggers', a combination of forum and blogger) then the beach would be the off-topic area.
It's a tropical location, no matter the time of year it's always warm and pleasant there. Sunrises and sunsets are spectacular, the evenings balmy. It has a number of different locations; the Nick Clarke waterfront bar; the smokers corner; Fido's Run for the dog-walkers; the Naughty Step and many others.
How do you find your way around? There is no direct answer to the question. The beach is a moveable feast, literally. It will be renewed by our Lord and master Mr. Edward de Mair each Monday morning. This is because we have found in the past that when the number of posts exceeds about 600 the entire thing becomes unwieldy and unstable. A case of the beach turning to quicksand.
Froggers often leave bottles / glasses / trays of their favourite tipple on the bar for others to sample, not to mention big / small eats.
There is a herd of camels who frequent the sands, which froggers are very fond of. There are sun-loungers, so you can take it easy and catch some rays. Quite often the late-night attendees will have a barbie.
It's a fun place, with only one real rule; Be nice to each other; we are ALL chums here. New Froggers are ALWAYS welcome.
The real debate happens on the other threads. The beach is a place for banter, whimsy, relaxation and friendship, where jarring comments are not particularly welcome. There are certain very mild protocols, which you tend to pick up as you go along. So slip your shoes off, feel the sand between your toes, relax and enjoy yourself.
The place for serious talk about serious things.
It's a tumultous time for the French people - a change of President coming in the spring, and a big change in public behaviour from yesterday. From yesterday morning, they are no longer able to smoke in closed public places.
Our reporter Yvonne Murray is in France for PM and over the coming weeks you'll hear her reporting from around the country. She joined us live from the start of her journey in the South-Western town of Bergerac. As a treat, and for no extra money on your licence fee, here are some snaps.
This is Yvonne with the curator of Europe's only tobacco museum Bernard Clergeot:
These are some ornate pipes in the tobacco museum:
This man Yvonne met in a cafe tabac said the French authorities are treating him like a child. So she put him over her knee and whacked his French butt. (We are not allowed to show you the pictures of that.)
to make your life easier, I hope.
Several froggers are repeatedly posting the same messages - this doesn't help the system and in fact slows it all down even more. I understand why - when many many hours pass, the temptation to send again is strong...and coupled with the various error messages we've all been getting, it's especially understandable. But really, it makes things terribly slow, and can result in one of the messages being accepted, but all the others being rejected - leading to more frustrated froggers. One recent message was sent ten times. Eeek! That can make the system think you're trying to spam it, and then things start to explode.
Also, some postings have been very long. One recent comment is almost 1500 words long. It may even have been one of mine, so I hold up my hand (though it was full of VERY funny jokes). Brevity is best (he said, in a posting that's heading into a fourth paragraph.
I hope this helps. I'm told our technical capabilities will improve from next month. In the meantime, your patience and adherence to these hopefully useful suggestions are greatly appreciated.
So they say. One PM listener got in touch yesterday with a problem he's had trying to pay. Here's his email:
"I have just been talking to my bank about why my self assessment payment, paid by Maestro debit card on Monday, has not left my account. They say it is because the Revenue website does not gather the signature strip 3 digit security code, so the Revenue cannot complete the debit. This will affect anyone who is trying to pay their self assessment tax by Maestro debit card - my bank say hundreds of people have already rung - most will not realise until they see the transaction has not gone through - in a few days time!"
Have you had a similar experience? Let is know. And Let the Healing Begin
to be the next chairman of the Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú. In the light of the decision of my good friend Lord Puttnam not to bother, I think it's time for a candidate to come forward to take the Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú forward, moving forward. That candidate is me. At this stage, I am only announcing my campaign slogan: "Let the Healing Begin" - but detailed policies will follow.
Obviously, I have oodles. But if you have any of your own that are worth stealing, that's what the Comment link is for.
Let the Healing Begin.
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