Christmas cheer in the chamber
Startling developments at Holyrood. Labour's Iain Gray seemed to this concerned onlooker to be suggesting there was no Santa Claus.
First Minister Alex Salmond took an entirely different tack. He appeared to think he WAS S. Claus.
Mr Salmond revealed the Christmas gift wishes of his rivals, as published in the Big Issue, then proceeded to indicate that he, personally, was in a position to meet these requests.
Mr Gray apparently had expressed a desire for new-style Ray-Ban sunglasses, as worn by Barack Obama. (OK, OK, let's get the gags about blinkered vision out of the way now.)
Done, said Santa Salmond. Lack of time no doubt prevented the FM from disclosing that his own despatch to the North Pole features a desire for a year's supply of Lucozade.
No, I don't know why either.
Most of the chat afterwards in the Garden Lobby focused on the relative rigidity, even sterility, that is now afflicting this weekly question session.
Long-winded
Labour MSPs and others blame the FM. They say he has given up any pretence of attempting to address, let alone answer, the questions.
Nationalists say the FM is entitled to answer attacks in his own way. They say it is scarcely his fault if his opponents cannot lay a glove on him.
By contrast, they say the questions from the opposition leaders are turning into long-winded statements.
One Government insider even questioned the choice of questions. The topics were: Labour, Scottish Futures Trust; Tory, policing fraud; LibDem, the quango state.
Their call, of course, but my puzzled interlocutor wondered why nothing on sentencing policy or student funding. Maybe next year.
As to timing, I think the patience of backbenchers is wearing decidedly thin.
By the time the three front benches pose their sundry questions, 20 valuable minutes have elapsed. Backbenchers have very little chance to get in.
New goalie
Perhaps the answer lies in the chair enforcing tighter questions - then inviting the first minister to respond in due measure with taut, focused replies.
On the day, Iain Gray pursued his chosen topic with vigour, asserting that the SFT is effectively dead and should be afforded a swift burial.
At one point, he delivered a notably withering glare to some shrill heckling.
Annabel Goldie was magisterial, declaring one reply from the FM to be "absolute drivel". (You have to say it in the Bella accent to get the full effect.)
Tavish Scott was witty and pointed, inviting ministers to set the pace in public spending restraint - by taking a voluntary pay cut of 10%.
Mr Salmond demurred, noting that he had appointed fewer ministers and that they saved money by cutting travel.
And that was that: the final FMQs on the final parliamentary day of 2008.
Hope Santa (the real one) is good to you all. Me, I'll settle for a new goalie to replace our current star who, it seems, is being lured west.
I'm 
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