Ferreting about the Assembly
I am indebted to commenter I.N. Cider for letting me know about an intruder at Parliament Buildings earlier this week. I've posted the comment, but I think it's worth repeating in full...
"What a pity you where not around the Big House on Tuesday and Wednesday Mark.
Just when the Folks on the Hill thought it was safe to return to the building after summer recess all hell broke loose when the shout went out to all within the building that there was a possible MOLE therein!!
After a frantic search by the security staff it became clear that all sides could breath easy again as the culprit turned out to be a young Ferret which had wondered up to the West door of the building and tried to gain entry without first producing a pass. Security staff trapped the said rodent and swiftly made a makeshift home for same.
After feeding and watering the animal and looking after it for 24 hours a new owner and home was found for the little mite who looked rather sad to be leaving his new found friends up on the hill.
And who says that theres no compassion for the little creatures of this country?"
I rang an Assembly source who confirmed I.N. Cider's account and told me the security staff had popped the ferret into a makeshift cage before the animal was taken away by the USPCA.
Perhaps the ferret should have been kept at Stormont to keep our politicians on their toes. Given the choice, whose trousers would you drop him down?
I'm 
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Willie McCrea's
Mark
FERRET OUTREACH 鈥 NO WONDER SHE鈥橲 ALWAYS HYSTERICAL!
The problem could have been solved quickly by putting the ferret down Martina Anderson鈥檚 trousers --- it would have been bored to death in no time at all.
Susie
Carryduff
Ian Paisley Jnr.s
Mark
DEVENPORT DIARIES DEVILISH DECEPTION --- FABRICATED FERRET鈥橲 FATE FUELS ULSTER UNIONISTS鈥 UNEXPECTED UPTURN
I must take you to task for deceiving us about the ferret鈥檚 fate. The truth is that the ferret got so fed up with being hunted by the two hundred and fifteen excess staff in Stormont that it lost the will to live and joined the UUP.
Interestingly, this development has given the UUP an unexpected boost. Some local academics, using the classifications of the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale (WAIS) which is the standardized test for determining Intelligence Quotient, have found that the ferret鈥檚 membership has resulted in the overall IQ of the UUP Assembly party rising from 19 (idiot) to 63 (Moron). EDIT
Mark, before you ask, Lady Hermon (aka The Drama Queen) was unavailable to take the WAIS Test as she is currently in rehearsal for the lead role in an Ulster version of the film 鈥淒riving Miss Daisy鈥 to be titled 鈥淒riving Reg Crazy鈥. However, the academics believe, on the non-empirical evidence available, that the inclusion of Lady Hermon would boost the Party鈥檚 score to 71 (Borderline Deficiency).
Could this be the beginning of a comeback for the UUP? Perhaps this is a good time for Sir Reg to launch a new UUP anthem to rally his troops:
路 Ferret鈥檚 a Jolly Good Fellow
路 鈾 鈾 鈾櫔 鈾 鈾 鈾櫔 鈾櫔 鈾 鈾 鈾櫔
路 Ferret鈥檚 a Jolly Good Fellow
路 鈾 鈾 鈾櫔 鈾 鈾 鈾櫔 鈾櫔 鈾 鈾 鈾櫔
路 鈥︹︹︹︹︹︹︹︹︹︹..
路 鈥︹︹︹︹︹︹︹︹︹︹..
路 Which Nob鈥檇y can deny!
路 鈾 鈾 鈾櫔 鈾 鈾 鈾櫔 鈾櫔 鈾 鈾 鈾櫔
路 Which Nob鈥檇y can deny!
路 鈾 鈾 鈾櫔 鈾 鈾 鈾櫔 鈾櫔 鈾 鈾 鈾櫔
Frank
Carryduff
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