There ain't no Sanity Clause
Marx Brothers' fans will recognise that as a quote from "A Night At The Opera" when Groucho as Otis B. Driftwood and Chico as Fiorello are discussing a singer's contract...
Fiorello: Hey, wait, wait. What does this say here, this thing here?
Driftwood: Oh, that? Oh, that's the usual clause, that's in every contract. That just says, uh, it says, uh, if any of the parties participating in this contract are shown not to be in their right mind, the entire agreement is automatically nullified.
Fiorello: Well, I don't know...
Driftwood: It's all right. That's, that's in every contract. That's, that's what they call a sanity clause.
Fiorello: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Clause!
It's probably completely gratuitous, but the quote came in to my head when flicking through the second report from the former head of the Inland Revenue, Sir David Varney. He's probably extraordinarily generous to his nearest and dearest, but one thing he isn't, so far as Northern Ireland is concerned, is a "Sanity Clause".
Our politicians and industrialists hoped for a cut in Corporation Tax or at least some alternative sweetie, and in his first report Sir David told them "no chance". With the possibility of City of London firms screwing brass plates on to Belfast office doors, there was no way the Treasury would consider differential taxes.
In his second report today, coming on the eve of our US Investment Conference, Sir David suggests selling off Belfast Port and the Vehicle Licensing Agency and cutting public sector pay rates. He commends the Executive for its emphasis on kick starting the economy, but that's about it.
Perhaps I should invite Sir David to pay my place an overnight visit in the early hours of December 25th. There would be no presents left beside the tree, just an exhortation to the kids to stop staring at the hearth and start sweeping the chimney if they want to earn their regional rate of pocket money.
Bah humbug, there ain't no Sanity Clause!
I'm 
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