A handful of apologies
When he apologised over his green post box comments, Barry McElduff told MLAs "if a handful of words which I used in August 2008 broke the public duty of members as set out in the code of conduct for members - which now appears to be the case - then of course I would want to apologise for this."
So he's now absolved from his sins so far as the Stormont Standards Committee is concerned, but what about the Stormont Plagiarism Committee?
The phrase "handful of words" sounds familiar to those who witnessed a recent apology from the SDLP leader Mark Durkan withdrawing comments about the First Minister Peter Robinson. "I was asked by the Deputy Speaker to address the offending term, so I did. I am being asked by the Speaker to withdraw the offending term, so I will. If, in my challenge to the First Minister, I used a handful of words that were procedurally incorrect, I withdraw the handful of words that are procedurally incorrect."
Something else both politicians share in common is the use of the conditional "if" in their apology. This cleverly introduces the possibility that the complaint about your conduct or words is spurious, but in the unlikely case that it is not then of course you would say sorry. Hence the apology becomes not quite an apology.
In a similar vein I might say that if a handful of words I used on Stormont Live yesterday led a TV viewer at home to drop off to sleep, whilst smoking a cigarette which upon falling from their hand sparked a blaze that destroyed their home, then of course I would be sorry. I don't imagine that occurred, but it's always best to get your conditional apology in first.
I'm 
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