Help me out - peer pressure
Find out more about how to deal with peer pressure.
What is peer pressure?
Peer pressure is doing something you feel uncomfortable about, because everyone else is. It’s the pressure you might feel to fit in with a group or individual friends. It could be anything from wearing clothes you don’t like, to more serious stuff such as taking risks or behaving badly just to gain the approval of friends.
Feeling the pressure?
Peer pressure can make you feel uncomfortable, anxious, worried and stressed, especially if what you’re doing has an impact on others. That could be anything from pressure to have material things that your parents can’t afford or acting in a certain way that just isn’t you. Think about why you do certain things. Is it because you want to, or because other people want you to?
Bullying behaviour
Sometimes it’s easy to go along with the crowd, but it’s easy to fall into bad behaviour if you’re not acting as an individual. It might not seem like it, but laughing along without thinking, or standing in a group when someone is being targeted, is bullying behaviour. If you find yourself in this situation then stand back and consider whether that’s a group you really want to be part of. If this is happening to you, be assertive, and if necessary, move on and find new friends – it may not be easy, but you will feel a lot better in the long run.
Dr Aaron talks about peer pressure and being assertive
Tips for being assertive
Be brave: it builds strength and confidence to stand up for what you believe in. Standing your ground takes courage but staying true to your own feelings feels great.
Being assertive means expressing your thoughts or feelings clearly and sticking by them even if someone else disagrees. It doesn’t mean shouting or stomping your feet!
It can be hard to be assertive, try practicing at home in front of the mirror. You might feel a bit silly at first but it will help you say what you want to say to others.
Good friends accept and support your decisions. People who bully or fall out with you for them are not real friends.
If you and your friends feel strongly about something then do something about it (safely) – whether it’s challenging bullies or prejudice, talk to someone about your concerns, think about starting a campaign at school or even taking an assembly to tackle the issue.
For information about organisations which can offer more advice on a range of issues, check out the advice helplines page.
There's loads more in the Lifebabble guide to friendship; you can listen to Dodie's song about pushy friends, get some top tips or even do our quiz to find out how you cope with peer pressure.