Help me out - phones
Whether you do or don’t have one – or want one – mobile phones are everywhere! And as they get smarter and more powerful, chances are you’ll need to know about them – the good sides, the bad sides, and how to stay safe when using them.
Why do people love their phones?
You’ve probably noticed that a lot of people spend LOADS of time on their mobiles – and some don’t even like to leave the house without one!
There are lots of positive things about phones; they can –
Help us connect, share and check in with family and friends
Be great for taking pictures and capturing memories
Offer loads of fun games and apps to play with
Give us access to a whole world of information online
You might even be reading this on a phone!
But there are also a few down-sides and dangers to be aware of, so it’s important to get clued up before you go near the ‘on’ button.
Is there a right time to get one?
While it seems like everybody has one, lots of children and young people don’t own their own phone – and there is no right time to get one.
It’s usually down to a parent or guardian to decide if or when you get a phone, and that can depend on lots of things like how much they cost, whether you need one and how stay safe you are when using it.
Too much screen time
One of the biggest problems with phones can be when people spend too much time on them and miss out on things which are happening in the real world.
Some signs you might need to take some time away from the screen are –
You find you miss what family, friends or teachers say because you’re distracted
Even when you’re not on your phone, you find yourself thinking about a game or website, or worry that you’re missing out on something
You hide that you’re using it (especially somewhere where you’re not supposed to, like in class or in bed)
You feel stressed out if you don’t have your phone with you
You feel you have to always take and share pictures of what you’re doing
You spend less time seeing people face-to-face
It can also be upsetting or annoying for you if one of your friends or family members ignores you because they’re busy with their phone – if that happens, tell them how you feel!
Getting the balance right
If you have one, it’s fine to spend a bit of time using your phone – they’re fun and great for staying in touch with the people you care about – but it’s important to get the balance right between that and ‘real world’ time.
Of course, phones are not the only way to communicate – spending time hanging out and chatting face-to-face can really help build positive relationships – and make you feel good.
Sometimes people feel guilty, or they’re wasting time, when they take time just to stop, relax and think – but it’s actually really important to give your brain space where it’s not being constantly bombarded with information and images.
Ask yourself, is your phone controlling you, or are you controlling it? Make sure you make active choices about how you use your phone and you are not just going on it ‘because it’s there’.
Try taking a ‘digital detox’ – where you stay off phones and computers – even for a short while, and you’ll probably find there are loads of interesting things happening in the real world!
Staying safe
Just as it’s really important to stay safe online when you’re on a computer or tablet, the same rules apply when you’re on a phone.
For some top tips, check out the Help Me Out – Staying Safe Online page and the Help Me Out – Cyberbullying page.
There are also other things to watch out for when using your phone –
It can be easy to spend money without realising it – for instance when playing a game where you can get upgrades or items, or when streaming video when you’re not connected to WIFI – if you’re not sure if something costs, always ask an adult!
If you have a phone, make sure you always keep it locked with a password or PIN-code so that your information is protected if you lose it (but it can be a good idea to let a trusted adult, like a parent, know your PIN in case you forget!).
Only give your phone number to people you know or trust, or who need to be able to contact you – don’t ever post it online for everyone to see!
A lot of phones have ‘location services’ which can work out exactly where you are. That’s really useful if you’re using a map, but be careful that you’re not sharing that information (for instance when a photo gets tagged with a location) with anybody else who doesn’t need to know.
You might get unwanted text messages or phone-calls trying to trick you into texting back or giving out information. If you’re not sure who a call or text is from, ignore it – if you know the person they will leave you a message.
Image issues
You might receive picture messages which are rude or upsetting, or someone might ask you to take and send pictures like that.
If that happens –
Even if it’s embarrassing, tell a trusted adult – you don’t have to deal with it on your own!
Don't share pictures you receive which you shouldn’t have – even if you didn’t create the image, having it on your phone or passing it on can still get you into serious trouble.
Never take or send an image which you’re not comfortable with, or which you wouldn’t be happy to show everyone; if someone is asking you to do something like that, they are not respecting you or your personal boundaries – tell an adult.
Having a phone should be fun and make you feel more connected and empowered, not less – so if anything about phones is stressing you out, talk to someone you trust.
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For more information about organisations which offer advice and support, check out the Advice Helplines page.