There's no two ways about it. You've either read JRR Tolkien's "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy or you had something better to do that year. Or maybe you've just read "The Hobbit" and got hopelessly lost in Middle-earth mythology. Whatever the case, our idiot's guide will give you some idea of what to expect in Peter Jackson's first film in the trilogy, "The Fellowship of the Ring" (warning: contains major spoilers)...
OK, first the back story... there's this very powerful ring known as The One Ring that this bad guy, the Dark Lord Sauron, previously lost. A hobbit called Bilbo took possession of the ring and tried to keep it out of harm's way.
As the story begins, Sauron's sussed who's got the ring. He wants it back so he can become the unquestionable ruler of Middle-earth. What a nasty man.
The wizard Gandalf warns the hobbits about the impending danger. Bilbo's nephew, Frodo, sets out with a band of hobbit friends (Sam, Merry, and Pippin) to take the ring to Mount Doom in Mordor - the only place where it can be destroyed. Problem is, Mordor's in the heart of the evil Sauron's territory. Bummer.
Evading the evil Black Riders - whom Sauron has sent after them - the hobbits join up with a band of heroes. This 'fellowship' includes a mysterious human named Aragorn and a dwarf named Gimli, as well as several other colourful characters. Gandalf joins them, and the quest to destroy the ring continues.
Journeying through Middle-earth, the Fellowship has to fight various enemies - including orcs and demons - and they're also being followed by Gollum, the creature whom Bilbo originally stole the ring from. He wants it back.
One of the fellowship, a human called Boromir, is seduced by the ring's power and tries to take it, but Frodo eludes him. Overcome with shame, Boromir dies in Aragorn's arms after valiantly fighting off the orcs. The orc army kidnaps two of the hobbits, but Frodo has to continue his quest.
Sound complicated? Just be grateful we didn't include the various subplots. Maybe reading the book doesn't sound like such a bad idea after all.
"The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" opens on Wednesday 19th December 2001.