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It looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, but in the animated tale The Ugly Duckling And Me! an unscrupulous rat somehow convinces the hatchling that he is its his father. Despite the exclamation mark in the title, there isn't much to shout about. This is a rather too quaint and patronising adaptation of the Hans Christian Andersen fairytale in an age where slick, CGI toons like Shrek and Ratatouille give children a little more credit for knowing their eggs.

As the supposed hero of the story, Ratso (voiced by Morgan C Jones) is tough to root for. He is pursued by a gang of rats for no compelling reason except that he's a scam artist who doesn't think twice about treading on tails to make a fast buck. When he finds a freshly hatched duckling (Kim Larney) who looks like he fell out of the nest one too many times, Ratso naturally decides to sell tickets to a freak show. But of course, as the unlikely duo make their way to the local carnival, a bond develops that interferes with Ratso's plans.

"SNAPPY AS SOGGY WHITE BREAD"

If the rat is a mildly repellent then the duck is borderline offensive. He isn't just ugly, he looks like something that escaped from a birdcage at The Addams Family mansion. Co-directors Michael Hegner and Karsten Kiilerich try to get a few laughs by having him morph into a moody teenager overnight (hence the deeper tones of Justin Gregg), but that only succeeds in making him more creepy. Generally, the voiceover artists don't have much to sink their teeth into. The dialogue is as snappy as soggy white bread and the plot drifts randomly between incidents which are accompanied by the usual moral dilemmas. And, in case an encounter with a blood-thirsty fish isn't enough to make your hair stand on end, scenes of duck kissing should do it. With so many ill-judged moments, the story just never takes off.

The Ugly Duckling And Me! is out in the UK on 8th February 2008.