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These contain some examples of vulgar language.
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Germans don't mind a good argument; some even see it as a sport, especially when done eloquently. Germans consider themselves civilised arguers. They prefer the so-called Lass' uns darüber reden policy - let's talk about it.
However there might be the odd situation where somebody is really looking for trouble, as in Was guckst du! What are you looking at?
Here is a list of expressions which will enable you to start a discussion or an argument and either go for it or try to de-escalate the situation - Entspann Dich. Relax.
 Looking for trouble
Get lost!
You're getting on my nerves
Are you taking the mickey?
Who do you think I am?
De-escalation
(* = familiar, ** = very familiar, *** = vulgar, s = slang, Lit. = Literally)
Hast du ein Problem? (*) Got a problem?
Same as in many other languages and a very common opening line for starting an argument.
Was guckst du? (**) What are you looking at?
This phrase is so famous that there's even a German TV show with the same title. Commonly used by friends to start a mock fight.
Redest du mit mir? (*) Are you talking to me?
Often accompanied by pointing the index finger to one's chest. It indicates that someone is annoying you and that you want a challenge. Expect a heated argument.
Willst du mich anmachen? (**) Are you looking for trouble? Lit. Do you want to turn me on? Unfortunately a real turn-off.
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Verpiss dich! (***) Piss off!
Sometimes you need to put your foot down.
Zieh Leine! (**) Milder version of Verpiss dich as in "go away". Lit. Withdraw from the line.
A slightly milder version for the more sensitive amongst your acquaintances.
Mach den Kopf zu! (s) Shut up! Lit. Shut your head down.
Stop talking nonsense and get lost.
Mach hier keinen Zoff! (s) Don't cause any trouble here!
A clear warning before stronger measures are taken. Oh no, we'll have no trouble here.
Kümmere dich um deine eigenen Angelegenheiten (*) Mind your own business.
One of the classics.
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Du gehst mir auf die Nerven (*) You're getting on my nerves.
There are probably numerous justified reasons for using this phrase. A standard all time classic for every intermediate learner of German.
Du gehst mir auf den Keks (**) You're getting on my nerves. Lit. You're getting on my biscuit.
Mach' mich nicht an! (**) Leave me alone! Don't bother me. Lit. Don't turn me on.
Another very straight forward expression.
Nimm dein Gesicht und geh (**) Leave me alone! Lit. Take your face and go.
Leck mich am Arsch (***) Lick my backside.
A real German classic. It was the German literature titan Johann Wolfgang von Goethe no less, who came up with this remarkable one-liner in his drama "Götz von Berlichingen" in 1773. And it's been very popular ever since.
Ja, du mich auch! (**) You too!
Standard reply to Leck mich am Arsch, lick my backside. Sometimes even used without the insulting prompt.
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Willst du mich auf den Arm nehmen? (*) Are you pulling my leg? Lit. Do you want to pick me up?
The classic question when you think someone is taking the piss.
Willst du mich verarschen? (***) Are you taking the piss out of me? Lit. Are you 'arsing' me?
German strong language likes to refer to a particular part of the body, the bottom obviously, which is in itself a noun. But language-wise, this part is very flexible and can be used as a verb and can be conjugated.
Verarschen kann ich mich allein (***) I can take the piss out of myself. Lit. I can 'arse' myself.
This phrase praises your own intelligence and is used when you want to indicate that you know very well when something is wrong:
Q: Von wem hast du die Blumen? Who gave you the flowers?
A: Vom Weihnachtsmann. Father Christmas.
A: Verarschen kann ich mich allein. I can take the piss out of myself.
Du träumst wohl (*) In your dreams.
Here's another quick and easy way of immediately destroying somebody's expectations.
Q: Kommst du morgen mit mir ins Kino? Will you come to the cinema with me tomorrow?
A: Du träumst wohl. In your dreams.
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Was denkst du, wen du vor dir hast? (*) Who do you think I am?
It is always good to make it clear right from the start - there is no messing with me. I am not as stupid as I look. Should always be said with a frown.
Auf welcher Droge bist du denn? Was hast du denn genommen? (**) What drug are you on? Have you taken something?
Here's a nice way of letting somebody know that you are not interested in the least.
Ich glaube, ich spinne! (*) I'm hallucinating. I can't believe what I am seeing/hearing.
Exclamation to express one's surprise either in a positive or negative way, often accompanied by gestures such as a slap on the forehead.
Nun mach' mal halblang (**) Draw it mild. Don't exaggerate.
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Entspann dich! (**) Relax. Don't be so uptight.
Very cool and handy for somebody taking things too seriously.
Komm mal wieder runter (**) Calm down. Don't make a fuss.
Related to ones blood pressure going up when angry, and runter, down, to normal. So don't make a fuss.
War nicht so gemeint (*) I didn't mean it that way.
Always good for back-pedalling.
Lass uns darüber reden (*) Let's talk about it.
Still popular claim introduced in the 80ies by so-called Softies, people with a soft heart, and peace-lovers. Mind you, if somebody is really upset, this might make it even worse.
Friede, Freude, Eierkuchen (**) Everything's great. Lit. Peace, joy, pancake. Famous loveparade slogan. Someone might have had a pancake too many. Or was it a cookie?
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