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It’s one of the most important jobs a man can do in his lifetime, so the pressure to be the best “Best Man” is enormous. Nowhere is this truer than for the best man’s speech. This daunting challenge virtually requires a novice to become a competent stand-up comedian. Luckily two of those, past and present – Jason Manford and Steve Edge – are on hand to offer some pearls of wisdom.

In this episode of Best Men they are joined by wedding speech expert Heidi Ellert-McDermott, whose company Speechy aims to make these set-pieces of the big day as entertaining as possible.

Here are ten tips to help a best man’s speech go with a swing:

Like anything, a best man’s speech will benefit from putting in the work, in this case remembering and researching some of the fun moments in the lives of the groom – and also of the bride. It’s the very first few lines of your best man speech that will set the tone and – hopefully – put you in a state of flow where your thorough research will really pay off.

2. Keep it under 10 minutes

Your speech has more chance of a better reception (no pun intended) if it runs at 10 minutes or less. Assuming an average speaking rate of 130 word per minute, that’s a maximum of 1300 words.

“1300 words is enough to say everything you need to say,” says Heidi. “No one's ever listened to a speech and said, ‘I wish it was longer’.”

Jason puts the role of the best man into context when he compares a stand-up starting out with five- or seven-minute slots for a few years, whereas a best man is expected to do a tight ten with little preparation. To keep this quick transition as seamless as possible, Heidi advises avoiding some of the more obvious, and in some cases cringeworthy or vulgar, jokes out of the speech.

Another difference between a stand-up and best man is that the audience for the latter could be anything from eight to 80, whereas a comedy audience is on average, around 20 to 50. This is another reason why the base jokes have to go, but also why the stag-do tales should remain a mystery. This is a favour to a large number of your audience because, as Steve points out, “They weren’t there!”

Steve also points out that the best man speech should include the bride, and Heidi wholeheartedly agrees. “Often it comes down to ‘she looks good’,” Heidi points out, “and I can't stand that, especially when they do actually know them. Obviously, you need a bit of that but include a bit of her personality as well!”

“Surely they have had their day?” asks Heidi of PowerPoint presentations. “Maybe 20 years ago, we all enjoyed looking at their old haircuts?”

“I don’t know,” interjects Jason, “when you see someone with a mullet back in the day, that’s still funny.”

Heidi’s advice, however, is: “Save it for socials.”

There’s two reasons for this. First, younger, single best men are more likely to want their speech to go viral, and so it could be lengthy and, well, more salacious. Second, married best men have been through it all before and they know what you don’t want in there. “You’re safer,” believes Heidi, “because their partners will get involved and they will be an extra proof checker.”

This might sound counter-intuitive but a best man is the one who is going to do the best job with the speech. “It's not necessarily the one that's funny down the pub,” observes Heidi, “it's the one that's going to put the homework in.”

Equally, you still want funny. “You don't want to pick the one that's crying and you know, talking about their bromance,” laughs Heidi.

There are no hard and fast rules on where the speeches go in relation to the wedding meal – it’s about personal choice. Heidi has a preference for the speeches to be split between courses. “So you have the traditional father of the bride role, welcoming people before everyone tucks into their meal,” she says, “then you maybe have the groom or the bride after the main, and then the best man after the pudding. Obviously, there are drawbacks from the best man's point of view. But I'd also say it means the audience are a bit more ‘oiled up’.”

Jason and Steve got their speeches in before any food. “Twenty minutes and everyone was done,” Jason recalls. “It just meant that you could relax and enjoy your dinner and drinks without sitting there worried the whole time.”

Whichever way you decide to do it, Heidi says, “Speeches are there to be enjoyed, and you should be looking forward to delivering them.”

10. Read your speech from paper – and look happy

Heidi is not keen on people reading from their phone or other piece of tech. “I prefer going old school – bits of paper.”

When you’re reading off your paper, Heidi reminds that you must avoid getting lost in your notes and keep eye contact, and smile, which is “the biggest thing we have to remind people when they’re practising their speeches.”