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Listeners' Fantasies |
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Dashed hopes ...
by Deb Z
 More llama-shaped goings-on from the Fantasy Archers topic of .
"Come on, come on, where can he bee?" Constanza tapped her hoof impatiently, one beady eye on the kitchen clock. She checked a mental list; ceenamon, sugar, cloofs, sultanas, si, si , si, si. She began pacing the length of the llama shed, all the time keeping one eye on the time and the other looking out of the window.
"Hola!" said Wolfgang, throwing wide the door, "Good grief! I nod know you able do thad!"
"Que?" said Constanza, momentarily distracted.
"Make you eyes look een deefferend direcións… Mind you maybee eet heredeetary, I seem reemember you Mama always look beet louche to me…"
"My Mama whad? Enuff, hoof them ofer now!"
"Hoof whad?"
"The apples."
"Apples," repeated Wolfgang, slowly, and then again rather sadly, "Apples always geeve me eendeegestión". He sighed heavily.
"Si, si," said Constanza, impatiently, "Thad how I know eet you, Meester Meeckey Mouse."
Wolfgang eyed suspiciously the level of the bottle of cooking sherry.
"Umm," he hesitated.
"Oh yes," continued Constanza, "As soon as I hear Soosan say whad happen een Penneehasset I know straighd 'way!"
"You do?" enquired Wolfgang "Hey, she steell annoyed weeth Leenda? I theenk Leenda take verree nice phodos. She make one of me thad I theenk maybe haf blown up for you Chreesmas presend."
"I blow you up een meenuto!" retorted Constanza, exasperated, "Juss geeve me apples! I haf everee theeng readee."
"You do? Ah, querida, afder so manee year together, you steell theenk 'boud me. Juss geef me secondo, I sleep eento bubblee bath an' then you come scrub my back, no? You haf no idea how eckshuausteeng stone-walleeng ees!"
"No, muttered Constanza, "bud I beegeeneeng ged idea! Now, Wolfgang," she continued in more reasonable tones, "I haf spices, pastry, sugar readee, Aga ad righd temperature. You weell observe I een cookeeng peenny..."
"Now thad eenteressing," mused Wolfgang, "You pud eet on back to frond an' tweest or you do eet up from back?"
"Haf you todallee loss marbles?" fumed Constanza (losing the thread somewhat), "You haf bath, you haf large cognac, you smoke beeg ceegar, you do whadefer you wan'…"
"Whadefer???" Wolfgang was astounded.
""Whadefer, juss tell me where you pud fruit!"
Wolfgang's mind fairly boggled. He looked desperately at the empty fruit bowl and wondered if there was a tin of fruit salad and some cream in the 'fridge.
"Salieri nod back yed?" he asked, hopefully.
"Salieri? Salieri? Whad thees god do weeth heem? I wan', no I need apples you neeck from Penneehasset!"
"You nod…enceinte?" enquired Wolfgang, cautiously.
"No," continued Constanza, ignoring him, "Nod neeck. For wheech you leaf Eye Oh You for."
There was an inaudible clunk, as finally the penny dropped. Wolfgang reached forward and took one of Constanza's hooves in his own.
"Mi amiga," he said, gently, "There no Eye Oh You, there no Meeckey Mouse, there no apples. I nod efen know where Penneehasset ees."
(This last remark was patently a lie, however Constanza accepted it.)
"But," she wavered tearfully, "What 'boud all my Tees? What 'boud my apple pies, my apple cake…?"
"I 'speck there be many more teas together," said Wolfgang, comfortingly. "Bud hey! I nod tell you, I theenk Salieri haf leettle pash on foal een Santa Shula's stables! I see them together een field…"
"She nod good enuff for heem," wailed Constanza, "Hold on! Horses, apples…Deed he haf sack of apples weeth heem by any chance…?"
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