John Walker contacted Home Truths after he heard Josina Marshall's experiences of being the 'best woman'. It turns out that he has been both bridesmaid and maid of honour.
 Bridesmate (John), bride (Helen) & bridesmaids |
John's been friendly with Helen since they were 12. When Helen came to get married, she sensibly chose the people whom she most wanted and didn't seem to differentiate between boys and girls.
"I think I'm one of those people whose always been cursed with the dreadful title of 'honorary girl'. It's haunted me all my life." And he has in fact always much preferred the company of girls to boys. They seem, he says, to be able to relax in his company.
But John is thankful that the honour didn't involve him in any cross dressing. He got to wear a proper morning suit. However, his clothes matched the bridesmaid's dresses. They had red dresses and the details of his outfit matched the same red.
Everyone involved took great delight in referring to John as 'a bridesmaid'. But, says John, "I was campaigning for the title 'brides-mate'".
 Kim |
And then there was the Hen Night. Originally, Helen terrified John by suggesting that he organise the Hen Party. "It was a blow to my masculinity already being asked to be a bridesmaid." In the end, it wasn't a raucous booze filled evening of male strippers, but a rather sedate affair involving dinner.
John needed to prepare himself for this new role. So he practised by being a maid-of-honour at another wedding - his good friend Kim who lives in Chicago.
He even gave a wedding speech - the "embarrassing story" of how he and Kim came to know each other. They bumped into each other in an internet chat-room. There was a new TV programme on called the X-Files, which no-one was watching at the time, and John chose 'Mulder' as his chat-room name. But there was someone else in the chat-room called 'Scully'. John said hello and it turned out to be Kim.
And amazingly, there is a possibility that John will be a bridesmaid yet again. John is a youth worker and a former member of his youth group has just got engaged and is threatening with "said role". Always the bridesmaid, never the bride…
