Maureen Connell e-mailed the programme to tell Home Truths about meeting her good friend Marian McCrorey while they were both training as nuns. In the end they were divided by the same institution in which they'd met - but their friendship survived
 Maureen and Marian |
Maureen Connell entered a covent in the early 1970s when she was 18. During her training in Ireland, she never went out or watched television. She says it was a difficult life for a teenage girl. Her good friend Marian had a very similar experience, but says, she felt "this was what God was calling me to do".
They met in Ireland. Maureen says she and Marian shared the same sense of humour and laughed at the same sort of things. Even though there was lots of silence, they did laugh in between as well. Marian says that very quickly Maureen "shone as the leader of their group" of the ten 18 to 20 year old nuns.
Their friendship was further strengthened when they both went to train as nurses in Leeds. For Maureen though, nursing was an eye opener. She found herself confronted by a life she barely knew existed. It made her start thinking about whether she was "called to the life". She came to the conclusion that you could still be a good person without entering a convent.
 Maureen during her nursing training |
When it came to the point of taking final vows, Maureen expressed her doubts. She says, "I couldn't be myself in this life". Eventually, she decided to leave. This was a very difficult time for her because a lot of pressure was put on her to stay.
Both Marian and Maureen were due to do their final year's training in France. Just before Marian was leaving Maureen told Marian "I just wanted to tell you not to expect to see me in France because I won't be going." Marian was devastated because she thought she would never see Maureen again. Nuns are not allowed to maintain contact with anybody outside their own families. Marian says, "I was devastated to know that this friendship could finish just like that".
When Maureen left the religious life, she worked as a staff nurse. She also worked as a nurse in Africa and Asia with Save the Children and Oxfam and as a midwife in Africa and the former Soviet Union.
 Maureen nursing in Africa |
She did attempt to contact Marian, but received a stiff reply saying Mother General had given Marian permission to write to say how disappointed she was that she'd left the convent.
But Marian explains now that in order to write back to Maureen she had to ask permission. Nuns are not allowed to have any money, so she couldn't buy stamps or paper. The Mother General dictated the letter she could send. It was to be twelve years before they would contact each other again.
Maureen heard that Marian had been ill and that she was in Italy so she decided to write again. Marian invited Maureen to visit her in Sicily. When they met at the airport it was just like they'd seen each other last week.
By this stage, Marian too was having doubts about her vocation. She felt like she didn't have a voice in the church and she had not be well and was exhausted. Her parents were ill too and it was four years since she had visited her family. Marian's Superior in Sicily asked if Marian could return home for a year. But once home, Marian took counselling and never went back.
 Marian and Maureen now |
It was very difficult living the secular life. She'd been out of the country so long even the currency was baffling. Marian says "I was probably quite institutionalised in a lot of ways." But thankfully, she had her nursing training so getting employment wasn't a problem.
Although her family was a huge support to her, only Maureen really understood what she was going through. "I'll never forget the day I took that habit off". Maureen was with her at the time. Marian didn't have any clothes of her own, so she had to wear her sisters. She felt so self-conscious. It was the uncovering of her hair that was the really strange experience - a bit akin, says Marian, to going naked.
They both live in Scotland now and see each other three or four times a year, but phone each other once a week. Maureen jokes that Marian lived in silence for so long, she now talks for the whole of Scotland.
