Earlier this year, 37 year old mature student Lizzie Grocott James was diagnosed with breast cancer - in her audio diary for Home Truths, she described her thoughts and feelings as she battled with chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatment, helped by her husband Al, and her son Jo..
Wed 16th February
It's been a good week so far. I've been feeling fairly sparky. Today I'm deliberately taking it easy because tomorrow we're visiting my sister and the Dome.
Last week was pretty miserable really. I came to the decision that I'd have to defer my degree. I really didn't want to do that because I can't bear the thought of having nothing but cancer in my life for the next 6 months.
Tuesday 22nd February
Feeling surprisingly good, considering I had chemo yesterday. I didn't throw up when I got home, which I was very very pleased about ...
Wondeful day out at the Dome.
Some weeks later...
I haven't done much of my audio diary lately -I'm not feeling very upbeat about life in general - very WhyMe? WhyMe? Haven't I had enough problems in my life, what with eczema whic made me itchy from head to foot for the first 37 years of my life? On the plus side, cancer has some advantages. People have been so nice and so helpful.
It's a most beautiful day. I'm sitting im my garden, birds are singing, there's blossom on the tree and for the first time, I'm outdoors with my bald head and no hat on ... I was hoping that if I sit here long enough I might get bit of a tan.
Weeks later again...
It now 4 weeks since my last radio therapy zap and I have been SO tired. I was horizontal in bed most of the time and too tired to even think of turning the radio on
Tuesday 6th June
I'm not feeling utterly exhausted today as I was yesterday. I'm getting good at enjoying things. If an opportunity comes along and I'm feeling sparky, I grab it with both hands. I've just had a brilliant at my sister's new flat. She moved in at the beginning of April, when I was beginning my Radiotherapy. I saw my my brother, Chris the cheek! - said 'You're looking so well - I don't think you've been ill at all!' Next day I saw my mum, the first time since I'd given her the bad news - it was brilliant to see her. Toasts were drunk to my beating the Big C.
Last entry in the audio diary
The emotional aftermath is going to take a bit of time for me to work through. I had violent mood swings and subsequent depressions from the steroids, which also kicked off a menopause. 'Great!' I thought, 'just what I needed - the menopause as well as cancer!' One more thing - I've decided to have no truck with being in remission. As far as I'm concerned I'm cured until I hear different.
I've got to pick up the threads of a normal life, and I'm still too tired mentally and physically to do that. Even writing a shopping list feels to much. Still it's getting there - too slow for my liking, but it'll get there in the end...
