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How to Flirt
As the party season approaches, Liz Kennedy ponders the art of flirting...
You like the other person and you're available. You agree with anything the other person says, so, according to Ian Sneddon, Senior Lecturer in Psychology at Queen's University, Belfast, you are flirting. "There's a whole range of ways in which you signal, 'I like you, I would like to be closer to you and I'm available to be closer to you.'"
Joris, a seasoned flirter, maintains that there are three types of flirting: First,
the High-Velocity flirter. "This is what you do when you're getting ready to go out on a Saturday night. Women are High-velocity flirters because they can get away with the aggresion and overtness of it all."
Men are better advised to stick with the second kind, Impressing Flirting.
"A fellow should let it be known that he speaks a couple of languages, that he's a man about town, that he's lived, loved, laughed," argues Joris.
The final type of flirting is the Instant Chemistry one. Joris believes this arises between two people for no reason. "All of a sudden you've entered a world of instant understanding and the jokes are the funniest you've ever heard."
It won't surprise many of you that Ian Sneddon's research has shown that alcohol plays a big part in flirting, in fact, "it seems to lower our standards". He would also contend that flirting is very difficult to fake. Joris maintains that you can spot true flirtatious behaviour easily - the couple will move closer together and look into each other's eyes. Perhaps for this reason, he advocates a neutral setting.
Flirting, according to Joris, "is a poem that happens. It's a means to its own end. It's complete. It should be something that's remembered forever possibly, it's like a very, very, short love story that lasts for 5 minutes but you sigh pleasantly when you remember it during the darker moments in your life.
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