Ian and Alex haven't had the easiest of starts. Six months after they married Ian walked because he couldn't face the mounting debts caused by his gambling addiction.
Ian became addicted to gambling when as a school boy he placed a bet on a horse called 'Drink up'. Things snowballed from there and had he been "given the chance I would have bet on where flies are going to land and raindrops running down windows." The sums of money varied "if I had a pound I lost three pounds, if I had a thousand pounds I'd lose two thousand pounds". The addiction changed him into a compulsive liar, both to himself and his family and friends.
When he settled down with his wife Alex, he managed to avoid the issues of money but six months after their honeymoon, and marriage, a crisis loomed. Although she had an inkling something was up, she only found the truth out when Ian left her a message in the car "saying he couldn't take it anymore. He'd gambled everything away. Left thousands of pounds worth of debts and he'd contact me when he'd got his head back together". After her hysterics died down she had to cope with other people and being threatened over the debts. Mostly people assume Ian is nasty and don't realise that addiction to gambling is an addiction.
When he had disappeared Ian went abroad and just walked the streets trying to make sense of everything. He felt "guilty and remorseful but once again I had gone too far. One tends not to think of the consequences when in gambling mode". There is always the chance that the next bet will bring in enough money to pay off all the debts. He was afraid to contact Alex because of how she would react but in fact she just wanted to sort things out and get Ian some help.
Alex gave him an ultimatum once he started the nine months rehabilitation programme. "He couldn't just come back as if nothing had happened but there again he couldn't go in to the rehab centre and do it for me. He had to do it for himself cause there's not much point in going there and not being committed". While she had faith in him a number of friends were convinced he would only last a fortnight. In fact he stayed the course. Because she stayed calm during this their children were able to get through the crisis. Alex found the best approach was to tell the children everything so nobody could take advantage of them.
Their lives have changed a lot, they have moved home "there's no more phone calls of banks and people. No more ducking and diving." Ian's involvement with Gamcare, the gambling help line in the UK, has led him to train as a councillor so he can help other addicts. Alex is sure they have survived as a family due to the help of family and her employers. Ian has "a good two or three years before he qualifies and then hopefully we start paying people back and start living a descent life again."
