Jenny Ellis wrote to Home Truths asking us to investigate the practicalities of hand-holding. Frank Wilson looked into the phenomenon...
Holding hand is an inocent pastime you'd have thought, but Frank's questions provoked some extreme responses. "I don't feel comfortable with it. I wouldn't like to be seen by people I know. I feel an idiot holding hands." Possibly unsurprisingly, that response was from a man, but then, so was this one, "If someone really loves me and is prepared to be seen walking down the street holding hands with me - that's wonderful!"
Apart from the feelings, what about the theory? Interviewee, Susan, has obviously observed the hand-holding phenomenon closely and realises that depending what sex we are, the way in which we clutch paws will differ, "Men hold hands with a woman with their hand round facing backwards, and a woman holds hands with her palm facing forward. But ... when a woman takes a child's hand, she does so with her hand facing backwards. When does someone know that they have to take a hand the other way round?"
Age is also a factor - with early adolescence a watershed. Where hand-holding was useful for playground games, being lead across roads, or forming monstrously long crocodiles, as the teenage spots appear, it takes on a new, romantic, meaning. David comes from a family who shy away from a physical show of affection, "The idea of holding hands was quite a challenge from the word go. Being gay, of course, it was even more of a ... taboo. But with my very first boyfriend, I couldn't wait to be seen in public holding hands with him."
Michael, on the other hand (forgive the pun) shows a deep level of aversion to the whole thing, "If I was with anybody and they went for the full interlocking fingers hand-hold, I think that would have to be the end of it. And once, when it became clear I was going to have to hold hands, I just grabbed the back of this girl's hand, in a nice firm masterful grip - that way you can hold someone's hand without holding hands..."
A little role play might shed more light. David tries it out, "I've got my palm down and I feel rather like Jackie Onassis being escorted by Frank Sinatra... they held hands just as we are now Frank! It's very courtly and protective manner. Holding someone's hand has an excitement, an edge to it...something to keep you on your toes."
