It was Jake's 21st birthday when Pauline found her son in a dozy and dreamlike state. Knowing that he was not a heavy drinker, she realised with growing horror that he had taken drugs "I didn't recognise his eyes ... something started to click. I was terrified, I thought he would die."
Then began nine years during which both mother and son struggled to deal with the problem of Jake's addiction to heroin. Pauline knew that Jake never forgot that he belonged to a close and loving family, "but," she says, "he loved the drug more."
Jake sold heroin to other users to make enough money to keep his own habit going. Looking back, he is not proud of what he did and finds it hard to pinpoint what it was that made him begin taking the drug "I didn't have any problems which made me start, I wish I did".
As the years went on, the situation got too much for Pauline. The only way for her to cope was to go away to exotic places. Her trips had a twofold purpose - it was subtle therapy to persuade Jake, via postcards, that there was life beyond heroin. But she also needed to get away from Jake himself. Watching her son deteriorate was more than Pauline could bear.
She felt she knew he just had to run the course.
Although Jake feels that in some ways his mother was running away from his problem he also realises "it was easier for her to accept it when it wasn't in her face ... she knew I wasn't ready to stop and it must've been hard to see all the grief."
When Jake was 30, he stopped taking heroin "it had run its course, I got fed up with it."
An opportunity arose to go to university. Jake took the chance. "I feel very fortunate. I enjoy life so much more, like watching the sunset. Little things like that really mean things to me, because I've missed out on it for so long"
Pauline says "His life is whole again, and that's all you want as a parent."
