At the Salvation Army Hostel in Bradford, Ray Kershaw spoke to 3 men living there about the pressures that led to the collapse of normal family relationships - they tell Ray how they're coping on their own ...
Anthony is 60 years old and has lived in hostel for nearly 2 years after a traumatic divorce ..
"I never expected to be here. I had my own place - a nice 3 bedroom maisonette
Suddenly I had to get out - I left everything there. This was the only alternative ..."
Anthony's spent 9 years in the army, set up his own printing business, and worked as a council officer on community service work, but, he says, "When you're in here, you start off at zero - it doesn't really matter what you've been before... I used to drive past here in the car and see the people stood outside, and I used to think 'there but for the grace of God go I' - I never expected to be here... I did feel shame as far as my family was concerned - being in a hostel - I think the public and the people round here regard it as a bit of a disgrace."
"This isn't the end of the world. This is where you can take a bit of time out - review your life - I hope to find an independent way of living and get back to some sort of normality in a community - that is what I hope for. If I can manage that, I'll count it as a success … "
Robert is 30 years old and has lived in hostel for about 8 weeks. A few years ago, he shared a council flat with his partner, but found it a struggle to keep up with the bills, and was eventually evicted. Tired of the bedsit life he's been living, he's come to the hostel for help...
He has a close relationship with his parents and two sisters, but is concerned now that he is causing them problems, "I think I stress them out. I'll see them again when I'm ready… I think I'm a strong person and I won't be surrounding them with grief or sorrow. I think that will be the time to return ... I'd love a family of my own but before then, I have to be good, strong, sorted, with a job a home."
After the hostel staff realised that Robert would like to move on his own accommodation again, he's been following their 16-20 week Resettlement Unit where he learns to keep cook, budget and learn a how to keep a home running. His advice to other young men is, "At 16, go into futher education, stay with your parents - stay off drugs … "
George is 68 years old and has lived in the hostel for 7 years. He has 2 ex-wives, 3 sons from his first wife, and a step-daughter with his second wife, "I've got 3 sons from my first wife. I see them, the other two I haven't seen for years. I've got used to being on my own.
I lived in a flat in Bingley - I had trouble with my last ex-wife and through that I lost the flat and ended up in this place - on spec - I've been here ever since. I've nowhere else to go. I regard it as me home and will probably stay for the rest of my life."
"You don't have any responsibilities - once you've paid your rent, that's it ... You've got your spending money. If you've got the temperament, you'll be all right here ... I do the lottery every week - the only thing that'd get me out of here - but that's a daydream. I'm retired now, I can't see me ever working again - if I did win the lottery I'd emigrate Israel."
Since Ray visited the hostel, Anthony and George are still living there, but Robert has moved on.
