 |
Lost love-making
Kathy & Tony Wilkinson have been married for 28 years. In 1992, Tony, an industrial fitter, fell off a ladder at work, breaking his back and fracturing his pelvis. Returning home after 3 months in hospital, Tony realised he was impotent, and could no longer make love with his wife...
Kathy and Tony are a close couple, and the loss of the love-making side of their relationship was terrible for both of them. When it came to sex, Tony's mind was willing, but his body wasn鈥檛. He recalls, "I was told by the doctors, 'Don鈥檛 worry, you鈥檝e had a bad accident - making love will come back.' I went home, nothing happened, I did worry and it didn鈥檛 come back." At night he began to avoid his wife, staying downstairs watching TV in the hope that Kathy would be asleep. Kathy eventually broached the subject, suggesting that whilst Tony was at the doctor for a regular check-up, that he also talked about the fact that he was impotent. It was a quite a breakthrough for the couple just to mention the subject. Tony's attitude had been, "It鈥檚 my problem, I鈥檝e got to work it out." Kathy had found it very frustrating, and, as she puts it, "We had a start, a middle, but no finish!"
The options the doctor put before Kathy and Tony didn't seem very encouraging. They were told that for 拢300 a pump was available which would help Tony to get and maintain an erection. Unfortunately, the pump wasn't available on the NHS, and Tony's inability to work after the accident, meant the Wilkinsons simply did not have the funds available to buy it. They went, instead, for the injection method. Tony couldn't face injecting himself, so Kathy said that she would do it. She did, but once only. They were able to have sex, but Kathy decided that she couldn't face the needle option again. Kathy and Tony were almost in despair.
However, after returning to the hospital, Tony took part in a clinical trial which involved inserting a 'Muse' pellet into the urethra. This was fairly successful, and between this and the use of Viagra (of which the NHS will only allow a limited monthly supply), the Wilkinsons feel that although their love-life will never be quite what it was, it's now pretty satisfactory.
Have you had a physical problem which has affected a close relationship?
What was, or is, the condition, and is it now resolved?
Did the problem strenthen or weaken the relationship?
听 |
|
