James regards himself as very good at rowing and claims to have never yet lost
an argument; "There鈥檚 a certain art form to doing it, body language, eye contact
and how you hold yourself in general - you鈥檝e always got to dominate a room and never
let the other person get anywhere at all."
He swears by a technique that he picked up from watching Joan Collins in her Alexis
days in Dynasty "I used to watch how she acted. And then I鈥檇 stand by the window sill
and light a cigarette and hold a glass of wine and then I鈥檝e got the higher position
which is always best to win an argument. And it's great for the annoyance it causes,
while you pause mid-sentence to take a drag of your cigarette and then blow your smoke out over the
other person."
So that鈥檚 how James conducts his rows. But how do the relationship counsellors interpret
what鈥檚 going on? Julia Cole and Susan Quilliam share their thoughts: " It鈥檚 fascinating
to realises that arguments fall into patterns, it鈥檚 almost as if the couple are having a
dance with each other..one person does one thing the other person responds Even though
it may feel that they are in total conflict...they pick up on each other鈥檚 body language
and verbal signals ...in exactly the same way as two people might tango."
How to win an argument.
Master arguer James, maintains "that it鈥檚 best to keep eye contact with them and maybe
narrow your eyes. It鈥檚 pointless to slam doors because that means your leaving the room
first and therefore you鈥檝e lost the argument because you can鈥檛 handle the pressure. If
you get really irritated then pick up a vase and throw it."
The relationship counsellors advise if you want to still be on speaking terms later that
"The most effective people are those who can remain calm during an argument and not
storm out of the room and not raise their voice."
Of course there is that all important "Last word" and it Home Truths has given it to
to James "If I know I am right ...if I believe in something I will stand my ground
I鈥檓 not going to be walked over I鈥檓 not going to be trampled on ...therefore I would
say to these people who think I鈥檓 a horrible nasty person....tough."
