Steve is in his 40s and now lives with his partner, Paul. Steve is still married, and his wife, Lynn lives nearby. The three of them see each other frequently, even going on holiday together.
But process of coming to this point was painful for both Steve and Lynn Steve explains "Lynn had to be away on business for several weeks. I just found I was uncontrollably infatuated & in love with this particular man and although I knew I had something better with Lynn, and I hadn't really got much in common with him, I couldn't do anything but want this most beautiful perfect wonderful thing in the world. I'd have destroyed anything to be with this guy, even though I knew it was wrong. It it was completely disastrous. He couldn't deal with the existence of Lynn."
After two other relationships, Steve decided that he had to leave. When he broke the news to Lynn her reaction was, "Absolute astonishment. What do you mean you're gay? Well does that mean you're going to leave me? Can you try being gay at weekends?" As Steve explains "We thought at one stage that we should divorce. We started proceedings. Then we thought what are we doing this for? We're just paying these solicitors loads of money."
It was a time of confusion for Steve and Lynn. They still loved each other, and it wasn't until Paul came along that they found a way of dealing with the change in the relationship. Steve explains "Paul's 5 years younger than me. He'd had a long term relationship for 10 years with a guy and actually understood the relationship between sexuality and emotional relationships. I think the message in all this is, whatever situation you find yourself in, don't assume that its necessarily going to destroy the relationship that you've got because something's changed fundamentally. Work through it gradually and you could find something even better. We feel like a family. That's the perfect word for it."
