Keeping our wimmin here
Posted: Friday, 09 February 2007 |
Comments
Why more women? Why not fewer men? Have a cull and get the numbers down.
Flo from the tree
Is it just coincidence that it is since my arrival on these islands that the fairer sex are leaving? I should make it clear that not all men from the mainland are like me, so the women folk can stop searching for a whitersettler. There is, of course, only one Thewhitesettler, so sorry girls, best to stay where you are and you can look, but not touch. Then I woke up and looked in the mirror!!
Tws from sorryiamalreadytaken
liked your answer,flo,otherwise send men down to the south of france
carol from france
Now I was always taught that if you paid women to do something that was bad and if you stopped them going anywhere that was kidnap. How does Germaine Mc Greer feel about this degree of female manipulation? Auntie Ina says it's socila engineering but is happy to give anyone her account number and sort code for staying put in Skigerta.
calumannabel from Cremola Foam Crescent Swainbost
Doanld reckons five women after each meal is well within his capabilitities. Some boy that!
agnes ann summers from Habost
Good point Flo! Could this give an added edge to this year's dating festival? Perhaps all those who fail to pair off could be put out of their misery...
Anne from IBHQ
great a wimmin only island now that would make a brill comedy sketch i can just see the men dressing up (drag) to get a glimse of life on wimmen only isle
nannag from lewis
Anne, could I be the one assigned to put the singles out their misery?! Please? Don't tell me only UK citizens need apply!! I promise my method will be rather quick, rather painless ... and I shall do it pro bono.
mjc from NM,USA
Germain O'Greery does not believe that manipulation should be restricted to females or males, und etc.
mjc from NM,USA
We all have nightmares, TWS, we all do: yours was just rather worse than normal. I understand withdrawal symptoms after the Fank are generally tough. I am not sure whether you should be allowed to attend unless you can get two sponsors.
mjc from NM,USA
Aa've been giving this smaal problem quite a bit of thougt, yee knaa ? Maybe wi as lads expect tee much frem wor lasses , maybe just cos the population of various islands is falling, does this mean the lasses hev te double thor efforts in re-populating bi having many more babies? Maybe, they feel put upon? Maybe they divvent want te be churning oot babies?? Maybe that's why they are leaving? On the other hand, tha smaal island ower there, has lads tha think once the bairn is heor the woman can leave, the sooner the betta, they divvent need them anymore, ne accounting fre it at aal .
TBC from Tiree
mjc: "pro bono"? Has the smut disease spread as far as New Mexico now...
Digital Sands from Berneray
ruthodanort, 15 men for me, 15 for you, thats makes 30 between us - surely there wid be a nice one among that lot? Carol, pack dy bags too, that makes 45. FC - not so fast - wid you increase or decrease the ratio? DS - I object strongly to the smut allegations. we have our own plentiful supply thank you.And another thing - I am being misrepresented here, the Norske vaccuum cleaner was innocent! no smut intended. the comment on builders and first come first served was INNOCENT. there may have been a smidgeon of smut in other comments, but hey, thats life.
scallowawife from just finishing packin...
The cull. If you do go ahead with the excellent plan to reduce the size of the male herd in the interests of healthy stock and sustainability let me know. My new colleagues in the Deer Commission have all the right skills and kit to help out.
Bunchrew Seer from The Crannog, Beauly Firth
Crikey, mjc's just upped the smut quotient in the Western Isles single-handedly! I misunderestimated him......
Flying Cat from Committee On Moral Education (ib)
Wonderful news! Chrissie Mary and I would like our quota of 30 bodachs delivered to South Dell as soon as possible please. We could collect from the transport interchange (bus stop) near Murray's garage by arrangement.
Annie B from the usual
Folks, I am cleaner than Cleopatra's many husbands. I thought pro bono was a straightforward term, without hidden meaning. Enlighten this furrener: show me how the islanders understand the term. # Bunchie, we don't need the Deer Commission to help. I shall do it. Yes, pro bono. My pleasure.
mjc from NM,USA
!:- scallowawife:-i've started packing
carol from france
Annie B., you forgot to specify: provided it is on a Sunday and (therefore) the knacker is available to provide his services, gratis (as befits a Sunday).
mjc from NM,USA
Diggy - sorry, there's nuthin you can do to tempt me west. To find my Viking I just go due East. And smut? Pure as the driven sn酶 I am. Scallowawife, you can have my 15 too, but I'll come along and help you decide if you like.
Ruthodanort from Unst, for now at least.
to ruthodanort:- can i have your share?
carol from france
Think very carefully Carol before comitting yourself to anything. Pleeeese! You've no idea what these spurned, leftover, old bodachs can be like. Honestly, you'll end up doing everything yourself; they make a snoozing cat look positively hyper! Un banc, un arbre et une rue, that's all you need...
Flying Cat from hallelujah it's raining men...
Just so u all ken, Annie Beag thinks her and Chrissie Mary are gettin ALL 30. Scallowawife, I TOLD her we already had declaired an interest. I think she's gettin a tad greedy!
Ruthodanort from Unst
Rue? Ruta graveolens? doesn't Culpepper reccommend it for flatulence? Is that to treat the bodachs then?
Hyper-Borean from The taxonomy office
A large cork is as effective and cheaper around these parts...
Flying Cat from The Taxidermy Office
and peat does not cost a penny, but additionally sweetens and refreshes.
mjc from NM,USA
As to Annie B. supposedly getting greedy: the old Michael Foot (derivative) rule applies - To each according to his/her needs, from each according to his/her abilities. Poor Michael Foot, not to mention Harold (Laski, but Wilson as well if you wish): all in the dusbin of history. Probably Gordon Brown never read any of them, and he only knows the Web not the Webbs.
mjc from NM,USA
Harold (W not L) did at least keep Britain out of Vietnam for which, despite his numerous other failings, he should be well regarded. Gordon B hails from the same airt as Adam Smith whose works have been much traduced to justify our current financial policies.
Hyper-Borean from Behind as manifesto
I'm trying hard to get my head round the concept of Hyper being 'Behind as manifesto' and can only conclude that he is part of an installation in that dreamtime occupied by Tws...
Flying Cat from art&artists monthly
It's fat fingers FC, combined with a small keyboard. That, or dyspraxia.
Hyper-Borean from Confessional ( again)
Mmmmmmm fat fingers in my fur......
Flying Cat from Massagerie 脿 Catre
The stuff of dreams, nightmares, and inhaling too much smoke from a peat fire.
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