Cruel Isn't What We Aim For
As your gran would be the first to tell you, if you want to be nice to someone, it's probably better to either do it 100% wholeheartedly or just not bother. Something the NME found out the hard way, when they published their annual Cool List last week.
Now, normally, the Cool List is a big event in the indie magazine's calendar, as it gives them a brilliant chance to praise some of the most unique talents and charismatic nutbags in the world of quality brainiac snoot-rock. Previous NME Cool List issues have had specially made Cool List CDs, and one year they even did a 3D moving cover of Pete Doherty, as if he isn't three-dimensional enough!
So, you can imagine how pleased Beth Ditto, the enormo-lunged singer with indie newbies the Gossip will have been to learn she is now officially this year's coolest star.
"THAT RULES!" she'll have yelled to her bandmates (and anyone in a three mile radius), "I'M GOING TO A SPECIAL PHOTOSHOOT FOR THE COVER! SO'S LILY ALLEN! AND HER OUT OF THE LONG BLONDES! THE GIRLS ARE TAKING OVER! WHOO! BRING IT ON!" and stuff like that...
Sadly for Beth, when the magazine came out, rather than having a front cover devoted to all things Gossip, there was a great big picture of Muse (who are definitely not ladies, no matter how high Matt Bellamy sings), and a great big cover-mounted CD which had nothing to do with the Cool List...and one tiny little box containing the shots of Beth, Lily and Kate Blonde.
So, even though they WERE on the cover as promised, Beth's not happy, and neither is Lily. And you REALLY don't wanna get on Lily Allen's nerves, do you?
Beth told Femalefirst: "They totally copped out. I think it's disappointing because I actually thought that things were getting somewhere, and they were just too chicken. I think it's just another weird backhanded gesture towards women in the music industry. And had they all been men, I'm sure it would have made it on the cover."
And Lily had this to add: "Personally, I don't think a bunch of people sitting in an office drinking tea, inventing musical genres, and watching Nathan Barley DVD's are leading any kind of cool brigade, do you?"
Tell you what, I would not like to be shopping for Christmas presents for either of those two right now. Can you imagine the FEAR? And what if you had to be there on Christmas morning...watching the face curdle as the wrapping paper comes off? Oh. MY. GOD...*faints*
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