Queen vs The Miami Project - 'Another One Bites The Dust'
What is it with the remixing fraternity and the term 'versus' (or 'vs' to give it its full title)? If music were actually a form of battle, or sport there's no question who would win every single one of these heritage remix projects, it's whoever made the original record which is being (only very slightly) tweaked, right? I mean the referees aren't going to have to think very long, are they?
Announcer:"The battle between Queen and The Mia..."
Referee: "QUEEN! Bring on the next contestants!"
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Now, don't confuse that thought with some rocksnob rant about how old records should never be tampered with because it's like drawing a willy on the Mona Lisa or something. No-one really cares about that stuff, not while the originals are still available in the shops.
It's more that when all you've done is put a modern dance beat under a song which was already pretty damn funky already, you're not really fighting at the same level as your opponent, musically speaking. So why act like you are?
It's like jousting against a massive medieval knight in full armour, on a great big muscley horse, and he's using a telegraph pole for his jousting stick, and then you look down and you're sitting on a Shetland pony, with a lolly-stick, in your pyjamas. And you say "I'll go easy on you, sirrah, for it is the season of Advent."
There's cocky, and then there's just plain delusional....
Released: December 18th
(Fraser M)
The only thing biting the dust has been the reputation of Queen as Brian May and Roger Taylor seem content to let any old tat use their name.
This was originally a club bootleg by Cedric Gervais, who must be a really kerrazy guy to have such a kerrazy name. Perhaps he's the Gervais who got the sense of humour? And maybe Ricky has some musical talent he keeps very well hidden? Mebbe naw, we've all seen his eighties incarnation often enough to know he can't sing.
Bearing in mind that this song was the danciest tune ever to emanate from Queen (for we shall keep the memory of "Hot Space" buried where it belongs), it hasn't actually been changed that much. The radio edit just seems to have had some bleeps added in randomly. On the plus side, that means it still sounds like Queen. On the down side, it means it's money for old rope. But be grateful, for if you stray into the Vocal mix you will realise what a bad remix can do to your morale.
Many years from now, however, this will be looked upon fondly when people recall the 5ive / Queen collaboration on "We Will Rock You". Corpse. Turning. Grave. Use in a sentence.
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