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Put simply (because it IS simple) what you have to do is assess bars of chocolate, giving each a mark out of ten according to their value as a day-to-day utility, and another mark out of ten as a special treat.

So, for instance, a Mars bar would have a high utility score - most people wouldn't say no to a Mars bar in their lunchbox - but a low score as a special treat, because, after all, it's only a Mars bar.

Topic, on the other hand, is a smaller bar, you don't get as much chocolate for your money as you do in a Snickers, so it gets a low utility score, but you do get whole hazelnuts in it, and you probably don't eat one every day...so it gets a high score as a special treat.

Try it for yourself...what you'll also find is that it's very rare indeed for a bar to score well in both categories, and this is also true of up 'n' coming back-to-basics indie rock bands.

You can be really special and original, like the White Stripes, and run the risk of people thinking you're a bit arty and up yourself, or you can build a grass-roots following and aim for that crucial 'band of the people' tag...and then discover that there's about nine other 'band of the people' bands operating within THEIR local areas, and there's not much to separate your Enemy from your Twang.

Pigeon Detectives fall firmly into the latter camp, being as they are a louder Kooks. They'd be great to see live if you're stuck for something to do of a night out, but they won't be the band whose tickets you'll ask for as a birthday present, a year before the gig.

Nothing wrong with that, people do love Mars bars, after all, but they're hardly a family-sized bag of Revels, now are they?

Download: Out now
CD Released: May 21st

(Fraser McAlpine)