I'm Mr Blindside
It is a total lie to suggest that just because an artist is popular and sells a lot of records that you automatically have to like what they do. It is also a total lie to suggest that just because an artist sells a lot of records, it means their work is somehow flawed because they 'pander' to 'the masses'. That kind of thinking is just intellectual snobbery, and has nothing to do with how music hits the people who love it.
So, seeing as the truth of musical enjoyment lies somewhere between these two extremes, why do people get all bent out of shape if you find that someone who you really SHOULD like, bearing in mind how your tastes tend to work, leaves you totally cold?
I've talked about this a bit before, in relation to the Arcade Fire and Adele (got told off for it too), but the new Madonna/Justin single has caused the thought to raise its ugly head again, and the reason for this touches on my deepest, darkest pop secret. One which threatens to damage EVERYTHING. And it is this:
I don't like Madonna.
This is not because I have a problem with a strong woman in popular music using her attractiveness as one of the weapons in her campaign for world domination. That entirely comes with the territory, and it's not as if the Beatles, Bob Marley, My Chemical Romance or the Spice Girls were/are all munters either. This isn't political at all. I don't think she's a floozy, and I don't think she's destroying the moral standards of the planet.
I just don't like any of her music. I don't like her voice, I don't like her lyrics, I don't like her songs. I've every right not to like it, because the enjoyment of music is entirely subjective. I could be the only person in the WORLD who doesn't love Madonna and I still wouldn't be wrong, because it's impossible to be wrong about whether you enjoy something or not.
The mildest way I can express it is that sometimes you just have a blind spot about certain things. Other people love them, you don't, and that's fine.
It gets a little more complicated when you consider that this a blog about music which is in the charts. The charts are a democratic representation of what's popular in music. Madonna's a No.5 right now. That means a lot of people really like her. So we should be excited, and I'm probably out-numbered in NOT being excited. Even though ChartBlog should be able to assess the worth of each new song on its merits alone, I should be able to put aside my own personal lack of Madge appreciation to write encouragingly about her latest music, surely?
Well, let's just say I would if she would only meet me halfway. However, '4 Minutes' is not the song to change this situation one bit. It's just a load of bluster and hot air. One synth-brass refrain garnished with faux-Timbaland clicks and thunks, one pop megastar lady with nothing to say, pretending to flirt with a pop megastar boy.
There's echoes of 'Music' (which is a LOT better than this is) and of 'Hung Up' ("tick tock tick tock", indeed!), and no real sense of point. I mean what does this express except brand synergy between Team Madonna and Team Berlake?
Justin wants shooting for the way he sing-raps "Madonna" - the word smug doesn't seem big enough to cover it. But at least he sounds like he's involved in the song. Madonna? Not so much.
But maybe this is what people like about her. Maybe they enjoy her pretending to be dumb when she's actually clever (or the other way around, it's definitely one of the two), maybe her flat voice and disconnected delivery is part of her essential charm. Maybe the fact that she can't even get it together to sound haughty is what melts the music-loving hearts of the millions of people who love her so.
I really can't say, because I'm not one of those people. I'd like to be. Madonna fans seem to have such fun. But she remains my biggest pop blind spot. I just don't get it.
Feel free to tell me about your pop blind spots, maybe we'll form some kind of victim encounter group...
Comments
F***
I'm not a Madonna fan either.
Pop blind spots eh?
..Michael Jackson?
I find him overrated. In fact, calling him overrated is an understatement, I think.
Don't hate me kids :)
There's nothing wrong with not liking '4 Midgets'. It's -- to put it simply -- crap. It's her worst lead single ever and in my top 5 of worst Madonna singles it currently resides at #2, beyond the Celinedionesque monstrosity that is 'Take A Bow'. (How funny 'Take A Bow' broke Madge's string of top 10 hits in the UK and gave her one of her bigger US hits of that period!) And I actually like Madonna. A lot. Less than I did around 'Like A Prayer' or 'Ray of Light' or 'I'm Breathless' (this is the bit that makes me one of a kind -- I love 'I'm Breathless') but still I do. Just... not right now.
My blind spot is Radiohead. I know they're brilliant, I've been TOLD. So many people -- journalists, critics, fans -- told me. But Thom Yorke has a whiny voice and their songs tend to sound like each of them is, um, 50 Minutes or so. After repeated listens I really, really like 'Karma Police'. That's it. And believe me, I did my best.
I realise I could very well be harangued for this but my blindspot is for Arctic Monkeys - I'm sorry, but I just don't get them, they just leave me cold.
And it' s not like I haven't even tried listening to them - I have both of their albums on my MP3 (although they will be evicted soon to make way for the Eighties Matchbox B Line Disaster). I just think they're b****y awful!!
[See, anyone who likes the Eighties Matchbox B Line Disaster is just FINE BY ME, so don't you worry! - Fraser]
I think maybe part of the appeal of Madonna is that she does sing in an unchallenging way - it's easy to listen to because she's just, literally, delivering a song, intact, without inflicting any kind of character on it!
So everyone can just take it on themselves without any trouble, and sing along. I suppose this could apply to lots of different singers. But it's all the non-musical stuff she's built up around herself to become an icon that's made people want to identify with her (or not be in opposition to her?) In a way, it wouldn't matter what her music was like!
I have quite a few blindspots (a la singers) the only one that sprung to mind though was M.I.A. I know she's cool (well I have been told this many times) and a cutting edge artist etc but I just don't get her music at all, and I have really tried.
x
P.s. a while ago my mate n I were watching music videos and this band came on, and I absolutely loved the song but had no idea who they were. Then a day later u did a review on the very same song, and thereby introducing me to the wonders of elbow! Thank u v much.
Also r u ever going to review Erykah Badu's single honey? its v good
x
[Aww... I can tell you you're going to LOVE investigating the Elbow back catalogue. Every album is a peach! I didn't have any plans to review the Badu, but I'll give it a listen, seeing as you recommended it. - Fraser]
Thats cool, hope u like it, the video is v good too. Yep am loving what I've heard of the Elbowmisters (thanks to youtube) might even go out and buy an album!
How do u choose what songs to review? Or is it a secret formula that if you tell me you will have to kill me or wipe my memory M.I.B. stylee?x
I have to agree with everyone who's posted so far. I don't like Madonna (I never have and I really have tried listening to her!), the Artic Monkeys, or Radiohead.
My personal blindspot is Coldplay. I know people like them, but I hate them. I think this is because I was forced to listen to X and Y repeatedly. Before that experience, I was so-so about them, but now, I can't stand them and will flip radio stations if they are on.
Oh, and good job with the team Madonna and Team Berlake. That's funny!