Britney Spears - 'Break The Ice'
Today is a GREAT DAY in POPULAR MUSIC HISTORY, people! We are all present at the birth of a brand new musical experience, and it is one which will transform the traditional thick boundaries between artist and audience into a barely-there, tissue-thin flappy wall. It's not the song, which is basically a variation on 'Give It To Me' by Timbaland only with the monolithic synths from Usher's 'Yeah' instead of Timbo's trademark finger-drums.
Thankfully the world can bear any amount of variations on 'Give It To Me', especially ones which also throw a cheeky nod towards the Bee Gees - the "hai hai hai hot" bit. This is because 'Give It To Me' is still an amazing pop moment, and songs which are a bit like it also carry some of this amazingness as part of their DNA. That's science for ya.
No, the revolutionary bit occurs when Britney stops singing for a second, and in her 'sexy voice' (nails down a blackboard for me, but each to their own) says "I like this part...it feels kinda good".
That's right, she's reviewing her own song, while she is still singing it!
Just think of the man hours which can be saved if more pop people take on this multi-tasking approach and maybe invited the listener to pay special attention to key moments of their songs? No more tiresome working out which bits you like for yourself, let the singer take the strain. They get paid enough!
Think about it! Bullet For My Valentine could introduce their guitar solos with a hearty yell of "STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING! It's SHREDDY TIME and it's going to be REALLY GOOD!". Babyshambles could stop mid-song to mumble "haha! I bet you expected this bit to be horribly out of tune!", or maybe Fall Out Boy could insert a little monologue from Pete Wentz, something like "if you enjoyed this Fuelled By Ramen release, you might also like to try our latest product..."
The possibilities are ENDLESS. Maybe songs could come with a variety of spoken messages, which you can access via a central menu on your PC, like DVD extras. If your song is produced by Dr Dre, for example, he can point out a particularly nice hi-hat pattern, or the bass player could ask you to pay attention to a fiddly bit he did which, by rights, he should really be getting an arrangement credit for. Then Dre could burst in and shout "what the HELL are you TALKING ABOUT?" and swear at him, and there could be a huge row, right there before the middle 8.
Look, it's catching on already. This lady is covering 'Break The Ice', but she can't stop apologising for doing it, even while she's still playing!
Isn't it nice to know when a singer hates themself for singing a particular song, even when she does a really good job of it? Now we can either feel her pain or rage at her pop-snobbery, while enjoying her pretty singing.
That's the kind of layered multi-media experience Disney would pay BILLIONS for...
Download: Out now
CD Released: April 14th
(Fraser McAlpine)
Comments
wtf kind of review is this you havnt even spoke about the song you loser
[I did a bit. G'wan, read it again. See if you can spot where. - Fraser]
U have not :@ you have just forced us with a whole lotta self indulgence when all you are is a music critic!! u critic music!! not give us your life story trying to be involved. otherwise good work. just us britney fans NEED critical indepth reviews...haha
[Trying to be involved with what though? Believe me, I'm keeping as far away as is humanly possible. - Fraser]
It *does* feel good, Britney. This is my favourite track off the album.