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Alphabeat - '10,000 Nights'

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Fraser McAlpine | 10:00 UK time, Friday, 23 May 2008

AlphabeatNever mind that Alphabeat are essentially Same Difference but without the faint tang of inbreeding, or that they make Belle & Sebastian sound like Motorhead. And let's ignore all those primary colours and the fact that their videos look a bit like they were made by CBeebies...I will forgive any band almost anything so long as their song has an opening line as good as "I was not looking for arty farty love".

The implication is that they've now been saddled with a love which is both arty (which is good) and farty (not so good), and in the context of a great big bouncy castle of a song like this, you don't really want to be introducing the idea of any kind of wind. It's unwholesome, and will scare the younger viewers who are waiting to see In The Night Garden.

Actually, some of the other lyrics here are a little ripe for a pre-school audience. Those 10,000 nights of thunder, for starters. Even if it's not a clever way of referring to those special hugs that mummies and daddies have (which it very clearly is, but don't say it out loud), night-time thunder can be terrifying for a wee nipper. It certainly isn't the kind of thing you'd want to promise to deliver 10,000 times over.

That's just going to leave you with a psychotic adult, in later life, and a mattress you could use to irrigate the Sahara. Not that anyone would want to go there once you'd finished, of course. Imagine the smell!

Er...anyway...nice song. Really stimulates the imagination. Well done, everyone!

Four starsDownload: Out now
CD Released: May 26th

(Fraser McAlpine)

PS: My friend James likes Alphabeat because half of the band are called Anders. I, on the other hand, like . I like it because it is interesting, informative, and because it correctly points out that "there can't possibly be a better job in the world than being in Alphabeat". True story.

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