Akon - 'Right Now (Na Na Na)'
I have quite liked Akon songs in the past, particularly the ones which seem to come from the heart and not from the middle of some giant whirring self-consciousness machine which demands extravagent claims of total sexual omnipotence or its cogs go all sticky.
I mean, sure, all of popular music is based on the thought that if you, the listener, would just listen for a second, I, the singer, will be happy to administer the Good Lovin', but Akon can sometimes be a little too keen on defining exactly what this may mean, to an almost biological level. Its not always a nice thing to hear, especially if you're elbows deep in the washing up at the time..
So this, a nice little song about being broken-hearted and missing your ex, should really be my kind of thing, right? It's relatively tender, the beginning sounds impossibly serious and dramatic, and Captain Squeaky is in fine voice.
Where it all starts to fray a bit for me is the chorus, which takes that drama and heartbreak I was talking about and channels it through some kind of enthickificating device, so that all the pain and turmoil is translated into poetry for idiots.
Here's the chorus. Take all the time you need to read it, I'll wait:
"I wanna make up right now na na
I wanna make up right now na na
Wish we never broke up right now na na
We need to link up right now na na"
Put yourself in the position of the girl this song is addressed to. If you broke up with him because, say, he had a fear of commitment, or he called your mum a swear word, or he was only ever after just one thing, and he came back with something like this, after promising that he really wanted to make it work this time, and that everything would be different, wouldn't you wonder if perhaps he wasn't quite as serious as he makes out?
I mean, he's trying to open himself up to this girl, to explain that he can't live without her, his emotions are all over the place, and, most of all, he really misses the sex. Doesn't that last bit undermine the other bits?
Or to put it another way...
Him:"I want you to fly with me"
Her: Oh Akon, I didn't realise...
Him: "I miss how you lie with me"
Her: *sighs* I miss it too. I used to feel so safe.
Him: "Just wish you could dine with me"
Her: Well, I do know this new place we could go to, it's just around th...
Him: "One that would grind with me"
Her: Is that all you ever THINK about? Get out! OUT!
Frankly, I'm not hearing wedding bells...
Download: Out now
CD Released: November 24th
(Fraser McAlpine)
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