Young Money ft. Lloyd - 'Bedrock'
Hey, you impressionable young men, what we have here is a masterclass in how to talk to The Ladies. Everything you need to know about getting to know a girl you like is contained within the lyrics of this song. Literally everything. OK, some of the things take a little bit of excavation and interpretation, but if something's worth having, it's going to take a little bit of work, right sport?
NOTE: I am not an expert in these matters either. But with Young Money's foolproof system, I now feel empowered to take their message to all of the romantically hopeless fellas of the world. And girls, if it means you won't have to put up with idiotic ridiculousness on a night out, aren't we all winners?
Alllrighty then...
(. It takes place in the imagination of Jay from Inbetweeners)
So, the first and most important thing is to be confident. You don't have to be an all-singing, all-dancing show-off, but if you blush and giggle and snort if a girl so much as looks your way, you're not getting the real you across. Here's where humour comes in REALLY handy.
As far as claims to romantic excellence go, "call me Mr Flintstone, I can make your bed rock" might seem like one to file under 'Laughing Her Into My Arms', rather than 'Sure-fire Never-Fail Devastating Pick-Ups For The Hot Mamas', but it's all in the delivery. Say it like you're hanging on to a magic amulet that will transport you to a world you've never been to before, and you'll come across badly. Say it like you know it's cheesy but it's cute, and you don't really mean it, or do you? Or do you? And who knows what response you'll get?*
Mind you, "I'm that Red Bull, let's fly away" is perhaps closer to being creepy.
Next up, do not get over-confident and mess up. Once you've finished a list of extravagant compliments, one that starts with "gorgeous" and then thinks twice and replaces it with "flawless", it's probably not a good idea to say anything like "I ain't even mad".
Do NOT introduce the idea that it is even remotely possible that your judgement in these matters has been impaired by a mental illness. As I say, I'm not expert in these matters but what I do know is that hot girls are just like all human beings, they like compliments, but they remember things which could be perceived as insults FAR more. It doesn't even matter that you said you're NOT mad. You've created a world of possibilities in which you being mad could exist. That's worrying.
Of course, if you're with a gang of friends all in a room - let's imagine it's a club, shall we? - and you're all feeling a bit frisky, and you're talking to some girls, and you're worried that your pulling technique is a little off, do not fear. So long as the one of you which is capable of saying "I knock her lights out, she still shines" is not actually you, you'll be fine.
I mean to say, who says something like that? OK, it's Lil Wayne, and he's...well he's Lil Wayne, isn't he? Superstar rapper, ink-magnet, lizardy of voice, he can get away with stuff. Although I hope SOMEONE has pulled him up on that line. Domestic violence charities, a beloved female family member...anyone really. It's horrible.
So there we have it. DO make her laugh, DO be confident, DON'T say whether you are mad or not and NEVER EVER say that you'll knock her out. Simple, really. Happy dating!
Download: Out now
Â鶹¹ÙÍøÊ×Ò³Èë¿Ú Music page
(Fraser McAlpine)
* I do. Enjoy her drink running down your face.
Comment number 1.
At 18th Mar 2010, harrythedog10 wrote:I'm trying to work out what the advantage is for Drake to appear in this song. Hasn't he got his own career to promote instead of hanging around with a load of mediocre rappers (excluding Lil Wayne), it's not that he needs to get his name out on the market because pretty much everyone in rap is talking about him. So what's he doing here?
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Comment number 2.
At 19th Mar 2010, OddOne wrote:This song is absolutely awful. It doesn't sound worthy of even the top 75.
Firstly, it doesn't only feature Yong Money and Lloyd, there are about five other randomly shoved in, in the hope of becoming half-famous by none other than Lil' John's independent record label.
Secondly, it goes on for WAY TOO LONG, it's five minutes of ploddy R&B beats and claps accompanied with lots of name-checking and pre-pubescent suealing, interjected with raps from hopeful nobodies squeezed in, offering no sense of consistent nor listen-factor.
Thirdly, is THAT hookline. Not only what is 'sung', but how is it sung. As mentioned before, Lloyd's girly Jay-Sean-esque (and if you're a regualar here you'll know exactly what I think of him and his voice :@)
fails to convince even the village idiot and his dog that he is a 'propr gangsta mann like innit' ready to show you a good time... like.
Fourthly, it's Lil' Jon. nuff sed bruvaaaa.
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Comment number 3.
At 19th Mar 2010, mangsy wrote:Awful.
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Comment number 4.
At 19th Mar 2010, Craig wrote:Hey guys,
I'm new to this, so go easy. I normally am happy to sit and read the reviews and comments, but thought id have a say.
I'll warn you firstly, i'm a fan of hip-hop/rnb, so will be a bit biased towards that genre of music. cant help myself.
Personally, i like this song. It isnt serious and it isnt meant to be, its a nice light offering from lil wayne's camp (not lil jon), something fun for the a club or easy to listen to on the radio, it's not designed to make you think. I think 3 stars is fair, it's not in any way revolutionary.
Young money are the "family" of new/young/fresh artists on cash money records (which lil wayne is in charge of, thus his involvement). Drake is getting a lot of exposure on his own, which i think he rightly deserves, but he is technically part of this young money group, so his presence is needed, plus he adds some fame to a group of unknowns.
Also, Nicki Minaj, the only female, seems to be getting a lot of exposure and will be showing up on people's tracks soon enough - already on a new (not very good) mariah carey track made up as barbie dolls, so expect a sighting of her.
I will say though, i have heard a bit of the album, as of yet i havent heard many stand out tracks for singles, so i dont know how many follow ups this group will have.
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Comment number 5.
At 19th Mar 2010, RandomEnigma wrote:Hey Craig, I agree with you. This is worthy of 3 stars once you don't concentrate on the seedy lyrics. It is strangely addictive. However, I do agree with OddOne, this song does go on a bit too long.
I love Nicki Minaj and Drake though, so that might be the reasoning behind me liking this track.
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Comment number 6.
At 19th Mar 2010, CurtainJerker wrote:A new arrival! Come on in dude. Make yourself at home.
And Spirit says we're not welcoming...
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Comment number 7.
At 19th Mar 2010, spirit wrote:Hi Craig !!!
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Comment number 8.
At 19th Mar 2010, BloggingLiam wrote:Token female.
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Comment number 9.
At 19th Mar 2010, harrythedog10 wrote:Token Female
Who, Craig?
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Comment number 10.
At 19th Mar 2010, Valiant wrote:oddone, you cant really moan about things you have no idea about...
craig, i agree with pretty much everything you said.
A catchy song, that probably wont chart well due to only really appealing to hip hop/rnb fans, but nevertheless great in a club!
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Comment number 11.
At 19th Mar 2010, spirit wrote:Valiant , it's a top 20 hit !
Loads of people think it's good , over 100,000 at least .
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Comment number 12.
At 20th Mar 2010, OddOne wrote:@ Valiant, what have I said wrong?
God this is annyoing, you could've elaborated on your point in your last post... save time?
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Comment number 13.
At 20th Mar 2010, Valiant wrote:oddone - your first moan was to do with 'lil john', 'young money' and other randoms jumping in... as craig pointed out young money are the family of artists on cash money records, led by lil wayne. Nothing random really going on there...
and spirit, checking out the top 40 now, the song is currently a non mover at 18 after 9 weeks in the chart... not exactly great for someone of lil waynes stature
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Comment number 14.
At 20th Mar 2010, OddOne wrote:Oh yeah... sorry, my bad, Lil Wayne and Lil' Jon are practically the same person though, and they look the same.
But what I meant was that Young Money is a bunch of nobodies signed to the rather appropriately named 'Cash Money Records' as solo artists for a while that have now been RANDOMLY shoved together to form new special exciting amazing group of nobodies 'Young Money'.
God, they really went to town with these names, didn't they? It's like putting 'money-making-sleaze-bag' on Simon Cowell's forehead - pretty much what it says on the tin: 'Cash Money', 'Young Money'... bit of money anyone?
So there, the only mistake I made was a small confusion between Lil Jon, and Lil' Wayne. But granted when I re-read my first post it didn't make much sense to me either.
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Comment number 15.
At 21st Mar 2010, thranjax wrote:This is dire stuff. But looking at the picture, and as Stewart Lee said of a rap artist once, I don't think I'm the target audience...
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Comment number 16.
At 22nd Mar 2010, Craig wrote:Hey guys,
Cheers for the welcome. As per comment 9 - i hope not referring to me.
glad my comment was fairly received, not shot down as i might have feared.
Oddone - if you get confused, if the guy is shouting "YEEAH" in a hoarse voice and acting generally a bit annoying, it's Lil Jon.
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Comment number 17.
At 22nd Mar 2010, jonesybcfc wrote:The songs pretty dire, but Hi to Craig!
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Comment number 18.
At 22nd Mar 2010, RandomEnigma wrote:Yeah Craig, we don't shoot people down on these sights, we're all very dignified in our arguments and our criticisms...most of the time anyway.
*smashes pool cue over Spirit's head*
*lights Curtains hair on fire*
*destroys Harry's teddy bear right in front of teary eyes*
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Comment number 19.
At 22nd Mar 2010, harrythedog10 wrote:NO NOT MY TEDDY BEAR, RANDY HOW COULD YOU!
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Comment number 20.
At 22nd Mar 2010, RandomEnigma wrote:Shut up or it will be your doll next! *laughs long and frantically*
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Comment number 21.
At 22nd Mar 2010, harrythedog10 wrote:sorry *sneaks away to ring NSPCC*
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Comment number 22.
At 22nd Mar 2010, thranjax wrote:I wouldn't advise going anywhere near harry's doll if I were you.
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Comment number 23.
At 22nd Mar 2010, thranjax wrote:Oh dear that link won't work from here. Oh well, hang on.
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Comment number 24.
At 22nd Mar 2010, thranjax wrote:Try again:
I wouldn't advise going anywhere near harry's doll if I were you.
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Comment number 25.
At 22nd Mar 2010, jonesybcfc wrote:Harrys doll actually scared the living sheeyizers outta me...
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Comment number 26.
At 23rd Mar 2010, RandomEnigma wrote:Harry's doll is trying to kill me. Help me! HELP ME!!!
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Comment number 27.
At 23rd Mar 2010, harrythedog10 wrote:hee hee, I told him to do that!
What's that Mr. Happy you say I should kill Spirit next, if that's what you want!
*smiles manically and creeps away*
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Comment number 28.
At 24th Mar 2010, spirit wrote:I come on here to read about the comments for the top 20 song Bedrock , and what do I find ?
A strange looking doll that looks like the figure growing in the chest of that guy in the Arnie sci-fi classic Total Recall !
If that's not bad enough , I find out that it's called Mr Happy ( he doesn't look happy to me !! ) and Harry has some weird kind of psychic power over it , much in the same way that Dracula used to influence human beings to open windows , take off cross necklaces from around necks etc
If that's not bad enough , I find out that I am next on the dolls hit list !
Actually , I am not quite sure if Harry controls the doll , or the doll controls Harry , but either way , it looks like I'M SNOOKERED !
Boy am I gonna have nightmares tonight !
Cheers guys . :)
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Comment number 29.
At 24th Mar 2010, OddOne wrote:ANYYYYWAYYYYY. Thanks Craig for clearing Lil Jon and Lil Wayne up for me. But this song it still diabolical. It is not good. In any way. So there. Watch it bomb.
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