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On my journey around Bellamy's People (OTUKOGBANI) there were occasions where things got a little hairy, a little scary and a little disturbing.

In this week's clip, you can see me, GB, meeting cult leader, Ian Knowles, known to his followers, or 'flowers', as The Inspire. Ian's cult, The Garden, was very strange. As I drove in I saw barbed wire, men in matching green boiler suits on watchtowers, women named after flowers wearing identical clothing and strange blonde wigs, like The Stepsford Wives. Ian even had his own henchman with a classic henchman's name, Vetch (also named after a flower).

I was glad I had the film crew around to keep me from danger and all of the weirdness. Now I know how Louis Theroux must have felt when he spent a weekend with Jimmy Saville! I even pretended to go to the toilet just so I could call Michaela, my mum, my agent, my brothers and my dad to say my goodbyes, just in case I never left The Garden alive or with my own mind.

Then I went back into the toilet and called the bank to cancel all of my direct debits, T-Mobile to cancel my phone - again, just in case. Then I went back again to call Brian Ruff, the family solicitor, to knock up a quick Will, leaving everything to Michaela and Comic Relief, again, just in case. That cost me (especially as I had to make about 20 calls to T-Mobile).

It took me a while to realise that Ian was/is basically a sex addict. He even looks like Michael Douglas from some angles. Nevertheless, the power of Ian was so strong that even I was taken in by the man and his beliefs. I had to keep telling myself not to fall for his charms, but it was very hard to resist. I could see why desperate young men and women, with minds less advanced than my own,Ìý would fall under his spell.

I hadn't felt this way since I interviewed Paul McKenna in 2004 and he made me like the Eurythmics. I had always hated them. After an hour with McKenna, I was addicted to Thorn In My Side, Sex Crimes (1984) and lesser-known hits like King and Queen of America, which only reached No 29 in the charts.

Ian's 'Garden' thrived on sex, not Baby Bio. All members of the cult slept with him, both men and women - and Vetch. Many of the girls were pregnant and carrying his offspring. Some were beautiful and if I were not happily engaged, I'm sure I'd have had a go at inspiring them myself. However, what repelled me was the fact that all of the women were ordered to shave (all over!). I don't go for that myself. I find that scary, like doing it with a Barbie doll or a big sand worm, like the ones in DUNE. I think it reveals too much and I prefer some things left to the imagination.


In the blog-exclusive video above, Ian is talking me through the complicated system of levels you have to pass through to reach the highest point understanding in his cult. While I was there I rose to level 3, I think, which was 'wool', or something.

Everyone in The Garden was under Ian's spell, all except his wife, Annette - or Daffodil, which was her flower name. She clearly saw through her husband's façade, after all, she'd known him before his 'inspiration' (breakdown) and knows what a prat he really is.

I can say this now as I have left the 'Garden' and I will never see him again, unlike poor Holly. I had always thought she was a bright girl, but it seems she had a weak mind and was easily swayed by BS (bullshit). She was sent to get Ian to sign a release form, and after being left alone with him for half an hour she underwent some kid of conversion. Even though both Ben and I begged her not to do anything foolish, she'd already shaved by the time we'd loaded the people carrier and there was no turning back. All I can say is, I hope she's happy, the silly cow.

Gary Bellamy is presenter of Bellamy's People. Read more about the making of Bellamy's People on the Comedy Blog.

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